A new study co-authored by dating app Feeld and Kinsey Institute research fellow Dr Justin Lehmiller is shining a light on Gen Z’s attitudes towards love, sex, and kink.
As part of the research, 3,310 Feeld users aged 18 to 75 from 71 different countries – including the US, UK, Canada, and the Netherlands – were asked about their fantasies and desires. The results were compiled and analysed and have now been outlined in Feeld’s new ‘State of Dating Report’.
The report found that members of different generations had distinct preferences for different relationship styles. Among Gen Z, monogamy was the single most preferred relationship type (23 per cent), while millennials and Gen X preferred ethical non-monogamy (24 per cent and 27 per cent). Perhaps surprisingly, baby boomers’ favourite relationship style was friends with benefits (27 per cent).
In addition, Gen Z was the most likely to report fantasising about monogamy. 81 per cent reported fantasising about monogamous relationships, while 44 per cent said they fantasised about this “often”. Relatedly, Gen Z was the least likely to fantasise about being in an open relationship (62 per cent). By contrast, around 75 to 80 per cent of millennials, Gen X, and baby boomers admitted to fantasising about being in an open relationship.
According to Feeld, this trend can be explained by the fact that we often want what we don’t have. “Nearly half of Gen Z reported that they were single, compared to only one-fifth of Millennials, Gen X, and Boomers,” the report reads. “Many younger adults have never even had a serious or committed relationship with one person, let alone several at the same time. In this light, it becomes easy to see how monogamy might hold a distinct appeal for this population. For a lot of Gen Zers, monogamy is simply something they haven’t yet experienced, whereas older adults who have had more practice with monogamy, they may be wanting to try something new.”
“Gen Z is breaking the mould by holding the most expansive views on sexuality”
The report also noted Gen Z’s penchant for romanticising more traditional relationships and roles. “There is a certain appeal to ‘how things used to be,’ in the sense that they just seemed simpler. As dating has moved into the digital world, it has only become more complex,” the study states. “Traditional courtship practices necessitated clear intentions and grand gestures that made it clear where things stood, so it’s no surprise that they’re gaining appeal in a time that feels more uncertain and unclear than ever.” But this isn’t to say that Gen Z are more conservative than other generations. “While many of them are reverting to more traditional relationship values, Gen Z is breaking the mould by holding the most expansive views on sexuality.”
The report also confirmed that there is weight behind the popular belief that young people are having less sex. Lehmiller’s survey found that the median number of times millennials and Gen X reported having sex in the last month was five, while for both Gen Z and boomers, the median was just three times a month. Over a third (37 per cent) of Gen Z reported having no sex at all in the last month, a stark contrast to the 19 per cent of millennials and 17 per cent of Gen X who reported the same.
But Gen Z are a complex bunch. While we’re fantasising about trad lifestyles and not getting much sex, we’re also the most likely to report having BDSM fantasies (56 per cent), compared to 52 per cent of millennials, 31 per cent of Gen X, and 12 per cent of boomers. “One [explanation for this] is simply that older adults have had more time to learn and discover what they enjoy about sex, so they may have already uncovered their kinks,” the report reads. “However, the other is that it also appears to be the case that younger adults today have a greater overall interest in kink than older adults, which may create greater openness to exploring and learning about one’s kinks.”
You can read the full report here.
