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After my disastrous first date, we got on the same train home – which broke down

This is what I thought to myself while I was stuck on public transport with my date, Kate*.

This was after awkwardly already ending it and saying goodbye to each other – then bumping into each other again on the way home.

The uncomfortable courtship clearly refused to call it quits.

This was in 2014 when I was 27 years old, after I downloaded OKCupid on my phone.

I have severe social anxiety, which significantly impacted my love life. Nevermind having a serious relationship, I’d never even been on a date before.

This was the first time I was putting myself out there. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to meet someone. But my anxiety got in the way of me asking someone out.

However, a good chat over dinner with friends one evening in early 2014 gave me the motivation I needed. 

I uploaded photos that were strategic and intentional – professional headshots and carefully selected pictures of myself when I was travelling. I wrote and edited my bio at least five times until I settled on something unique that captured my love for comedy, movies and sushi.

My outgoing messages to matches were equally carefully crafted, like cover letters, always starting with questions like, ‘Who’s your favourite character from The Office?’ or ‘What’s your favourite restaurant in the city?’

After months of endless swiping (which really felt like a full-time job), I finally met Kate in the dead of winter. We bonded online about our mutual love for cats and our shared taste in films. We hit it off; at least, we did on paper. 

So, we decided to take the next step and meet up. I was definitely anxious but I bit the bullet.  

Source of data and images: metro

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