She’s fallen in love with her mum’s stepbrother and, while she’s not biologically related to him, she’s grown up with him as an uncle.
The pair want to go public with their relationship – but know it could cause some serious problems.
Before you go, check out last week’s dilemma, where a stepdad is fed up with his partner’s lazy son.
For the last 18 months I’ve been having a secret fling with my uncle, which sounds terrible but honestly it isn’t. My mum and her brother are only step siblings, and don’t share a parent, so he’s not even blood related to me.
The trouble is that he and mum have grown up together since they were children and regard one another as true siblings. Of course, I’ve known him all my life and we’ve always been close, but things didn’t become romantic until I was 19.
He is 20 years older than me and has been married twice before. He has two children by each wife, so yes, he does come with baggage and from a mother’s point of view, I can appreciate he is not an ideal partner.
However, he always says that the reason his marriages have failed is just because he hadn’t found the right woman, and now he says that in me, he has. Despite the age difference, we have lots in common and now that our relationship is physical, things are beyond fantastic between us. He is young for his age, whereas I am quite mature, so I guess we meet in the middle.
Mum thinks he’s a bit of a Jack-the-lad and would be distraught if she knew I was involved with him.
I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong, but I’m afraid this will drive a big wedge between me and mum and ruin our relationship. How do I break it to her?
If you truly love one another then you’ll have to make this relationship public sooner or later – and when you do, be prepared for a lot of strong opinions.
The person who clearly matters most to you is your mum, who has a lot to take in. I asked our family expert, Dr Hari Rudkin, for her views.