Woman became first time mother to TWINS at 51 after spending £22,000 on IVF: ‘It’s hard… all my friends are empty nesters or grandparents’
Most women in their fifties are grappling with menopause – but Caroline Morgan is getting to grips with first time motherhood, too.
Now aged 53, she delivered much longed-for twins when she was 51, following years of fertility struggles, pregnancy losses, and multiple rounds of IVF, her devoted husband Richard always by her side.
Ms Morgan, from Derby, said: ‘I met Richard when I was 44..
‘After a couple of years we weren’t actively trying but we weren’t not trying, we were just getting on with life.
‘We went to the doctors to get checked and they said they couldn’t see anything wrong but said look, “it’s probably your age and you’ll need to go down the road of IVF”.’
It was a hard pill for Ms Morgan to swallow, as she had ‘always dreamed of being a mum’.
But, like many women, the conditions and timings to embark upon motherhood were never quite right – especially as she spent years working as a cruise ship entertainer.
She said: ‘I was an auntie quite young – I was nine and in primary school and my sister is a lot older than me.
Ms Morgan says that people can’t believe she is 53 with two small children
‘At that point I thought, “I love babies and I’m going to be a mummy one day”.
‘I travelled quite a lot for work, singing on cruise ships, so becoming a mum for me never really felt like the right time.’
Ms Morgan first met Richard on dating app Match.com and shared her dreams of motherhood straight away, but after being together for two years and failing to get pregnant, they were advised to try IVF.
They travelled to Palma, Mallorca for the treatment and discovered that Ms Morgan had undiagnosed endometriosis, a condition where cells similar to the womb lining are present in other areas of the body. It causes inflammation, scarring and can prevent pregnancy if not treated.
After their first round failed, Richard suggested a second cycle of IVF, but were met with another failed attempt, followed by two chemical pregnancies.
A chemical pregnancy is a very early miscarriage, usually occurring shortly after an embryo implants in the womb but before the pregnancy can be seen on a scan.
It can cause a positive pregnancy test because the body has started producing pregnancy hormone, hCG, but the pregnancy stops developing very early.
Ms Morgan fell pregnant on the couple’s fifth IVF round, but she miscarried the pregnancy at six weeks.
With so much heartache behind them – and her milestone birthday fast approaching – Ms Morgan told her husband that she was ready to give up her dream of starting a family.
Ms Morgan welcomed a son and a daughter when she wa s 51
She was ready to give up as she approached 50
She said: ‘At that point I said to Richard “I’ve got my 50th coming up in a few weeks and after that I’m not going to do this anymore, I can’t do this to my body”.
‘So he said “why don’t we try again?” We had two embryos left.
‘I ended up being pregnant.
‘We did an early viable scan at six weeks and found out it was twins and we were absolutely flabbergasted.
‘I was terrified – absolutely terrified because it was such an emotional rollercoaster last time.’
At the age of 51, after seven years of IVF and £22,000 later, she gave birth to a 4.5lb baby boy closely followed by a 4lb baby girl at Royal Derby Hospital.
Becoming a mother in middle-age has proved to be a double-edged sword; Ms Morgan says her temperament makes her a good parent, but menopause is also taking its toll.
‘Personally I’ve had patience and love being an older mum – I can give them more financially, I’m more settled, more wise and more worldly,’ she said.
‘I don’t look my age but I’m 53 and people say I look 35, so people don’t really know and when I tell them I’m 53 they’re absolutely gobsmacked.
‘When I tell them my story they are shocked and couldn’t fathom having a child at this age because they’d be so exhausted.
With her husband Richard, who encouraged her to keep trying
‘The body image for me was very hard after having babies my body changed a lot in the perimenopause and after that in post-partum.
‘I had hot flushes and rage, not towards my kids but anger to myself at not feeling good enough and “why is my body not the same anymore?”‘
The babies are now two and thriving, and Ms Morgan hosts her own podcast -Motherhood in Stereo – where she chats to other mums and experts about being a twin mum, covering topics like birth trauma, early menopause, IVF, adoption and more.
She was inspired to start it because she felt ‘lost’ after her husband went back to work and she noticed voids in her social life due to her friends being at totally different life stages.
Despite being ‘over the moon’ to have her children, Ms Morgan admits she didn’t feel the ‘bubble of love’ she expected after giving birth.
‘I didn’t have a village, my family live over two hours away in a different part of the country,’ she said.
‘After two weeks my husband went back to work and I was like “I don’t know how I’m going to do this”.
‘My friends are all empty nesters in their fifties or grandparents in different stages of their life.
‘The only people who helped me were my neighbours who were a retired nurse and midwife – they would bring me food every day to the house.’
Ms Morgan hopes that her podcast can bring comfort, support and encouragement to other women who have had a less than linear route to parenthood.
She said: ‘The key message for me is this – there’s no timeline to motherhood.
‘Lots of women have lots of different complications through life. It’s a personal decision, what feels right for one woman won’t feel right for another.
‘I was told by a clinician as long as you have a healthy womb you can have a child whichever way that is – women go through surrogacy IVF, adoption, different routes.
‘I want to tell people there is hope and don’t give up.’
