So many single men are taking this new drug cocktail before dates. The results in the bedroom are startling… as I discovered during one marathon session: JANA HOCKING
Remember when ‘Dutch courage’ meant throwing back a tequila shot before a first date?
Just one to take the edge off. But, too frequently, one drink turned into three and by the time you got to dinner you were drunkenly sobbing about your ex-boyfriend to a man you’d just met.
And the hangovers were at least as bad as the memories.
That’s why I felt a bit cheated when I heard that the modern version of ‘Dutch courage’ doesn’t come in glass but in a tiny white pill.
Beta blockers – normally prescribed for heart conditions and stage fright – have become the secret weapon of chronically anxious daters who are hoping to get lucky without sweating through their shirts.
Of course, I don’t recommend taking any prescription drugs unless directed to do so by a doctor, but regardless beta blockers seem to be everywhere now.
Celebrities like Robert Downey Jr have admitted to taking them before the Golden Globes. Musicians such as Adele and Katy Perry say they use them before performances. And the Kardashians swear by them with Khloé reportedly raiding Kris’s supply before big events.
Now the pills have leapt from backstage to the bedroom.
Instead of reaching for a pre-date margarita, singles are quietly popping a beta blocker to stop their hearts from racing, their palms from sweating and their voices from shaking.
I felt a bit cheated when I heard that the modern version of ‘Dutch courage’ doesn’t come in glass but in a tiny white pill.
Remember when ‘ Dutch courage’ meant throwing back a tequila shot before a first date? Just one to take the edge off
On paper it sounds brilliant. Who doesn’t want to feel calm, cool and collected when meeting someone new?
But when you chemically dampen your body’s adrenaline, you’re not just muting anxiety. I learned this the hard way.
Last year, I dated a finance bro. He was an incredibly successful guy who seemed super confident, the kind of man who said things like ‘I just don’t do anxiety.’
But behind that placid exterior was a man who popped a beta blocker before every important meeting and, as it turned out, before our dates too. And when we moved our relationship behind closed doors, the downside to beta blockers became apparent.
My date struggled to get an erection and even when he did, he couldn’t see it through to completion. What started off as marathon sessions that felt mildly flattering eventually turned into struggle sessions for the both of us. It felt like we were stuck in sexual purgatory, all effort and no finish. The poor guy wasn’t lacking in intention; he was simply over-medicated into numbness.
A pharmacologist friend told me that it’s not uncommon for beta blockers to dull arousal and make it difficult for men to perform by blocking adrenaline, lowering the heart rate and blood pressure.
That’s the paradox of these drugs. They may help men get into the bedroom – and then hurt them when it matters most.
For that reason, some men are apparently pairing beta blockers with Viagra, one to calm the nerves and the other to keep things up. It sounds like a chemical balancing act that could go horribly wrong.
It seems wrong to deaden the body’s natural signals so much so that you need a second pill just to feel again.
Look guys, the butterflies in your stomach are not a sign that something’s wrong, they’re proof that you’re with someone who really gets you going.
That’s the paradox of these drugs. They may help men get into the bedroom – and then hurt them when it matters most
Those shaky hands and racing hearts before a first kiss are uncomfortable, but they’re also what remind us that we’re alive.
And this is not where the beta blockers craze ends.
These daddy’s little helpers are also creeping into the post-breakup recovery phase, suppressing the physical effects of anxiety and grief like chest tightness and panic attacks. Some studies have suggested they might even weaken painful memories by disrupting how adrenaline stores them in the brain.
Sure, there may be a benefit to that – but the pharmaceutical full circle coverage is a bit disturbing. It makes me wonder whether we’ve become so uncomfortable with vulnerability that we’d rather medicate away the nerves than deal with them head-on.
We’ve entered an age where we hack our sleep, our diets, our libidos and even our emotions. Maybe the bravest thing to do is to feel scared. Because if we numb the fear, we might end up numbing the magic too.
And I mean the magic in the bedroom, of course.
Sigh, such a waste of a good time.
