Inside Grimsby’s plot to earn another Premier League scalp: Forensic biology boffin manager reveals why his side CAN deliver an FA Cup upset after Man United shock

It is not quite David versus Goliath but this is David Artell’s Grimsby against Premier League giants, episode three.

After toppling the mighty Manchester United in the Carabao Cup and then losing to Brentford, the League Two side host their third top-flight opposition of the season on Sunday in Wolves – and the Mariners are ready to reel in another big fish.

And Artell’s wish? The boss, a venerable chap, wants his players to get a kiss from a grandmother in the ‘euphoric delirium’ only days like this can produce.

‘One thing that annoyed me was that the lads did not get kissed by some sort of grandma running on the pitch,’ Artell tells Daily Mail Sport, talking about his best achievement aside from the United scalp – winning promotion with Crewe Alexandra thanks to Covid.

He reckons they would have won the league if not for the season being curtailed early and being told over the phone they had been promoted on points per game.

‘They missed out on all that euphoric delirium that promotion brings, they missed out on that. It was as sterile a promotion as you can get, getting told over the phone. So days like this, the United one with Wolves in town… it’s important for everyone to enjoy it.

‘A herd of wildebeest wouldn’t stop 9,000 Grimsby fans getting on the pitch! It’s just emotion, elation. We know what it means to people. That’s why we love the FA Cup, Macclesfield beating Palace, the holders, that’s the beauty of it.

‘People may say our pitch is a leveller, but I’d prefer a bowling green so no one can say we’ve had that. It might help. 

‘Can you do it on a wet and windy night in Stoke, they say… What about a cold Sunday afternoon in Grimsby! I don’t know anyone who can control the weather.’

Grimsby beat Ruben Amorim’s beleaguered side 12-11 on penalties having led 2-0 in regulation time only to see the Red Devils equalise, then toppled Sheffield Wednesday at Hillsborough in the next round before falling to Brentford.

Artell remembers that day fondly and says he will never tire of being asked about it. Asked about the morning after, he says: ’My first thought was, “Is it that time already? I didn’t get home until 3am, I got to bed about 4.15am and my first interview was at 7.30am.

‘So my first thought the morning after was, “Bloody hell is that the alarm already?” We want to put our little football club on the map. Not many people outside of this country had heard of Grimsby. By Thursday, I was on CNN! We are good, honest people, hard working.

‘I did interviews, watched the game back, spoke to my staff. Then it was just another day. There was no time to say “that was nice, last night”, it was soon chip shop paper. Haddock and chips here served on the paper about (the win). We had another game 48 hours later.

‘You always believe you have a chance (in cup games). It’s a two horse race, the best team does not always win. 

‘The best team won on the night, the best players did not. Amorim said so himself. We have to make sure we’re the best team on Sunday.

‘All things being equal, they should have absolutely walloped us. Did they? No. That’s the beauty of knockout football. We’re not playing basketball, a high-scoring game where there’s hardly any upsets. I am sitting here now as confident as I was before United.’

Artell, who has a degree in forensic biology, knows all about punching above his weight. Capped seven times by Gibraltar, the former Morecambe and Crewe Alex defender came up against the likes of Robert Lewandowski’s Poland and Thomas Muller’s Germany during his playing days.

‘We played against Germany about three months after they won the cup and walloped Brazil 7-1 in the semi-final,’ recalls the 45-year-old. ‘We were sitting having a team meal thinking, “Never mind this sauerkraut, this could get tasty!”

‘We were the Macclesfield of international football. Muller was there, we had a corner and he was saying, “This is your chance lads!” and I was like “thank you, Thomas, thank you, I’m just trying to breathe!”.’

There will be a similar gulf in class when Wolves come to town on Sunday. Here at Blundell Park in Cleethorpes, they have a giant cover over the pitch, which a groundsman’s dog is enjoying running underneath as the wind batters in from the nearby sea.

‘The area is being renovated, the fishing industry was decimated,’ says Artell. ‘Grimsby Town FC is a constant in their lives. This and the bank account. We understand the importance of who we are to people and the area, that is not lost on me. We sweat black and white blood.

‘People change partners, people fall out with family sometimes, but you never change your bank account or football club. This club has been here 148 years, it means a lot to people. I would never, ever take it for granted.

‘They told me when I first came here that I would struggle to attract people here. Why? There’s no traffic, people are unbelievable and friendly, they are all so nice to us. We don’t walk past people with our heads down here we say “Morning!”.’

Hopefully by Monday morning, this community will be celebrating another famous scalp.