Are you a designer ‘logophobe’?

Gen Z: What on earth are you carrying?

Gen X: My Louis Vuitton Neverfull tote. It was my birthday treat. Isn’t it fabulous?

Be so real RN*. It’s got ‘LV’ printed all over it.

I know! I feel like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City.

Well, you look like Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua vommed you up. In 2003.

How dare you?! I splashed over £1.4k on this. It’s a status symbol.

It’s a new-money nightmare. Like that cheugy ‘Versace’ slogan T-shirt you picked up from Flannels.

I’ll have you know JLo once wore that very same top.

Or those hideous Gucci sunglasses with a gold ‘GG’ on the side.

Pardon! I’ve had those since I was 30 and saved up for an entire year before I splurged.

*Shudders* They look like something from a 50 Cent music video. Don’t you know about The Business of Fashion?

Is it a podcast? Like Desert Island Discs for your wardrobe?

SMH*, BoF is the authoritative fashion website. And it says designer logos are officially over.

Hardly. The LV logo is celebrating its 130th birthday this year. It’s a classic.

Ancient, more like. Runway analysis shows designers are slashing logoed products by 40 per cent due to reduced Gen Z demand.

Gen Z demand? I thought you couldn’t afford the train fare to get into the office, let alone designer gear.

We’ve just got a bit more taste. BoF says we’ve ‘evolved from the overt status signalling’ logos represent.

What’s wrong with signalling status? Isn’t that literally the point of splashing out on designer stuff?

Because it screams ‘I NEED YOU TO KNOW I HAVE MONEY’ like a lottery winner. IMHO*, it’s tacky.

Tacky? Tell that to Gwyneth Paltrow, who wore a full monogrammed Gucci outfit to an event during Milan Fashion Week.

And didn’t you see the comments on X? ‘She just did for Gucci what Ms Westbrook did for Burberry!’

That was back in 2002. Can’t poor Danniella catch a break?

Another one wrote, ‘Reminds me: I must get some wrapping paper from the shops.’

That’s just mean. I thought Gwynnie looked chic!

She looked like she’d lost a fight with a monogramming machine. Even Vogue calls the look ‘gauche’.

So you’re telling me I’d look ‘gauche’ in a matching £3.5k Gucci suit?

You?! You’d look like you’d just come back from fake shopping in Turkey.

Rude.

Well, except for the teeth. So more like you’d raided a ‘Hermès’ market stall on the Bangkok strip…

You’ve made your point, thank you. So what should I be wearing if the ‘LV’ monogram won’t cut it?

Try Gen Z’s most-loved brand The Row’s £610 Wesler cotton T-shirt?

Is it worth it?

Well, it’s completely plain. Looks like any other white T-shirt really.

And the point is?

As fashion mag Thred says, it ‘subtly signals to others who are clued up that you’re part of their group’.

And if I don’t want to splash £600 on something I could get for £15 from Next?

Try any of Vogue’s ‘trendiest bags to buy in 2026’. Not a single one features a monogram.

So you’re telling me the monogram has mono-gone?

*Rolls eyes* Yes. Sorry, but your wardrobe is as cringe as your puns.

Heartbreaking. I’ll have to get Mr Vuitton on the phone. Tell him it’s bad news for the Neverfull.

Let me guess, it’s tote-ally outdated.

Its cachet is logo-ing, going, gone.

*RN Right now. 

*SMH Shaking my head.

*IMHO In my humble opinion