Are you suffering from ’emotional exhaustion’? Top psychologist reveals easy-to-dismiss signs of condition that could take years off your life

If you struggle to decide what outfit to wear in the morning you might be suffering from emotional exhaustion, warns a leading psychologist. 

Dr Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist with a private practice in Hampshire and more than 4.9million followers on TikTok, where she shares content on mental health topics. 

She appeared on ITV daytime show This Morning last week, where she explained how emotional exhaustion differs to the kind of day-to-day stress most people typically experience.

Speaking to presenters Cat Deeley and Dermot O’Leary, she explained that emotional exhaustion is a term for an emotional state, it is not a syndrome of its own, but it can be an early warning sign of burnout.

Dr Smith explained: ‘Emotional exhaustion is that feeling you get in the lead-up.

‘That sense of dread in the morning… All the things you used to do absolutely fine and in your stride suddenly feel like you can’t cope with them.

‘A lot of people talk about this inability to concentrate, which impacts the ability to make even small decisions, like not being able to think of what to wear.’

Burnout, which is recognised by the World Health Organisation, is characterised by a state of ‘physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion’.

Expanding on how emotional exhaustion can further manifest, she said it’s not uncommon to feel so overwhelmed that you ‘get that urge to escape and avoid’. 

She said: ‘So you’ll procrastinate over things that you would normally just get on with and so things build up, which increases the overwhelm. 

‘But also, you’ll feel the urge to escape. That feeling of everything being so stressful…So you’ll numb it out with food, substances or alcohol. 

‘Whatever you do to numb emotion will ramp up so anything that’s addictive becomes more of a problem,’ she said.

Dr Smith uses the metaphor of stressors as ink poured into a fish tank, explaining that the things that stress you out in life are all around you.

She explains that, while a holiday can feel like you’re in a fresh new tank and your stressors are gone, when you return home, you end up in the exact same situation.

She said that if you feel stress affecting your health, your focus should be on examining what in your life is not sustainable for you.

‘Some things are just non-negotiable, but other things we can adjust and claim back small parts of our lifestyle,’ she said.

‘Often what we do in therapeutic scenarios is we formulate and we look at “okay, it’s really difficult to do this but how am I contributing to that stress with the standards I am holding myself to”.’

While some situations are ‘non-negotiable’, Dr Smith says it is best to ‘push it where it moves’, meaning to tackle the more manageable stresses to help lessen the load.

Prolonged stress can trigger a release of hormones that dramatically raise the risk of heart attack and weight gain – which could lead to obesity-related diseases. 

Physically, the most common signs of chronic stress are chest pains, headaches and muscle aches.

This is because stress causes the body to release too much of the hormone cortisol, which is produced by the adrenal glands that sit on the top of the kidneys.

It regulates a wide range of bodily processes including blood pressure, metabolism, fertility and sleep-wake cycles.

As well as cortisol, the body releases a surge of adrenaline — an increase in both hormones is a result of the ‘fight or flight’ reaction that’s triggered when we’re under threat.

Together, these hormones cause the blood vessels to constrict, which makes our heart have to work harder to pump blood around the body.

This can lead to heart palpitations and chest pains, as well as high blood pressure and pains in the muscles and head.

Last year, Wes Streeting instructed GPs to stop signing sick letters and instead refer patients to the gym or a job centre, leading health leaders to warn that it could cause people to become very unwell. 

Healthcare workers at St John Ambulance said this ‘pressure to keep going’ runs the risk of minimising the very real effects of burnout, which can easily snowball into more serious health issues such as anxiety or depression. 

Lisa Sharman, head of education and training at the ambulance service, said: ‘When public language suggests people are exaggerating or being written off, it can make some individuals feel even less safe to speak up.’

She said: ‘It’s not always burnout, per se, but it’s exhaustion, emotional overload, or feeling unable to cope.

‘And those are really real experiences, they’re not just buzzwords, so we can’t dismiss them as such.

‘Burnout is often an early warning sign that something is wrong, but if it’s recognised and addressed early, people can and will recover sooner.’