This, when it comes, will look a lot like union. But without the history, there will be no tribe attached.
The Australian Border Force pokes some fun at All Blacks great Richie McCaw.Credit: Facebook
Border Force’s warning for Kiwis
Here was a nice Facebook post from the Australian Border Force, on Monday, which came complete with a photo of Richie McCaw: “Hey New Zealand – if you’re coming to Perth for the Bledisloe Cup this week, please make sure you enter our SmartGates directly through the front, facing the camera – not from the side. We know you have a history of entering from the side …”
More Monday madness
Every. Freaking. Year.
One team or another disgraces itself with its Mad Monday antics. This year, it was the Geelong Cats, straight after being thumped by the Brisbane Lions in the AFL grand final. It is all too tedious to go into too deeply, but it involved such things as Max Holmes dressing up like AFL journalistic icon Caroline Wilson, and Patrick Dangerfield and Bailey Smith doing a Brokeback Mountain take-off with the implication that losing a grand final turned you gay. (Laugh? LAUGH? I thought I’d never start.)
This is from grown men.
Not for the first or last time, Kane Cornes nailed it.
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“At some point in time, with the issues that there has been in and around dress-ups, clubs have just got to say, hey, you know what? It’s not book week. We’re not in year five. Let’s just turn up in a shirt and some jeans and have a good day, a few quiet beers, and celebrate a grand final loss where we got smashed in the second half because we don’t need to dress up and make ourselves look like fools. I thought they embarrassed themselves.”
In response, Geelong announced they would discontinue Mad Monday in its current form, to which one of the Twitterati replied: “‘In this current form’ I assume means private location, no media and no phones, and the same old s—.”
Trump’s America stains Ryder Cup
The appalling behaviour of the American crowd at the Ryder Cup? It simply beggars belief that a golf crowd could behave in that vulgar, boorish, bullying manner – hurling insults and epithets at both the European players, and even their partners.
So vulgar were some of the comments to Rory McIlroy about his wife Erica and marriage, it is a serious wonder he was able to keep his rough equanimity – beyond telling them to “F— off!” – without braining them.
One of my spies was in the crowd, and tells me that following McIlroy and fellow Irishman Shane Lowry on Friday, comments included: “Rory you’re a c—”, “Has Erica met Amanda?” (referring to an alleged affair), “Erica come here and drive my balls” and “Shane you fat pig – oink for me”.
Welcome to Trump’s America, where such bullying boorishness starts at the very top.
The great Tom Watson, an eight-time major champion and former Ryder Cup captain, said after the disgrace: “I’d like to apologise for the rude and mean-spirited behaviour from our American crowd at Bethpage. As a former player, captain, and as an American, I am ashamed of what happened.”
It took some Australians to lighten things up, with a dozen there from Sydney. On Sunday, when it was obvious that the Americans were indeed going to lose, they were holding up signs including “50% Tariff on European Points”, “Make Scotty Great Again” and “STOP THE COUNT!”
The pièce de résistance though, was one bloke holding up a Kleenex box, beside a large sign which said: “Free Team USA Tissues”.
How did they react?
“The vast majority of the Americans,” one of them, Anthony Collins, said, “were very good sports and played along.”
The others, not so much …
What they said
Rory McIlroy to a particularly vulgar Americans in the Ryder Cup crowd: “Shut the f— up!”
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Rory McIlroy on the poor fan behaviour: “I don’t think we should ever accept that in golf. I think golf should be held to a higher standard than what was seen out there this week. Golf has the ability to unite people. Golf teaches you very good life lessons. It teaches you etiquette. It teaches you how to play by the rules. It teaches you how to respect people. So no, this should not be what is acceptable in the Ryder Cup.”
Mark Nawaqanitawase on why he will be returning to rugby union after next season: “The cool thing about union is you can travel the world. Travelling the world and just meeting different cultures and different people … is an experience I wish all people could experience.”
Nice writing in the SMH from Dan Walsh and Billie Eder: “The Broncos’ blood runs hot in key moments, the Panthers – ice-cold.”
Phil Gould on his sudden heart problems, which have seen him hospitalised. “My regular blood tests this week, showed up something else that needed investigation. Basically, I came in to change the tyres, and they found a problem with the engine. Go figure.”
Geelong’s Patrick Dangerfield, after the grand final defeat to Brisbane: “It’s a ruthless sport. It’s the best sport in the world – I think we can all agree on that. But you do risk the devastation, but it’s worth putting yourself out there and giving it a crack.”
Geelong captain Patrick Dangerfield embraces the Lions’ Cam Rayner after the Cats’ grand final loss.Credit: Getty Images
Cats coach Chris Scott to the fans:“You’re better than I am. If I had my way, or in a weak moment, I’d still be in bed with the doona pulled over my head. Even when we frustrate you, you stick with us. We really appreciate it.”
Cameron Munster on his manager and media pundit Braith Anasta talking him up: “But the more you think about it during the week, the more you play the game in your head, and you forget why you play the game. It’s some nice words from Braith, but at the same time he’s my manager, so he’s probably just blowing wind up my arse.”
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Nathan Cleary on not winning the title for the first time since 2020: “I just haven’t felt that in a while, so I definitely don’t want this feeling again … going into the off-season now, it’s like an opportunity to grow even more and come back stronger.”
Kane Cornes is not a fan of Geelong’s Mad Monday dress up: “They’ve owned this space for a long time, but at some point, you have just got to say, it’s not book week, we’re not in year five.”
James Slipper on hanging it up for the Wallabies after tonight, two years before the home World Cup: “It feels like the right time for me to step away from Test rugby. There’s a number of good young props coming through who will need time in the saddle leading into what’s going to be an unbelievable experience.”
Lewis Dodd on it not working out at the Rabbitohs after only playing six games of a three-year, $2 million deal:“Not a day goes by that I felt I made the wrong decision.” Yes, I know – who would?
Team of the Week
England. Won the Women’s Rugby World Cup. We’re hosting the next one!
Wallabies. Take on the All Blacks on Saturday in Perth, after coming within an ace of beating them – down just 26-24 last week at Eden Park, with nine minutes to go – last week.
Queensland. After winning the AFL flag and the Origin, while hosting the 2032 Olympics, both the Broncos men’s and women’s teams are tomorrow contesting the NRL grand final. Please make it stop.
James Slipper. Played his 150th test match last week at Eden Park.
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West Indies. When is it rock bottom for them? In a T20 they were bowled out for 83 by – wait for it – WAIT FOR IT, I SAID – Nepal.
RIP Brother Bob Wallace, 87. The longtime stalwart of Australian Schoolboys Rugby passed away last week. His funeral on Thursday was packed, and included dozens of his former charges, including a huge contingent from the famous 1977 Australian Schoolboys. Well done, oh good and faithful servant of the game.
Twitter: @Peter_Fitz
