Every woman I date has the same repulsive bedroom kink… it feels so wrong, but I always say yes: DEAR JANE

Dear Jane,

I’ve been a chronic bachelor for years and recently noticed an odd trend among all the women I’ve been dating.

They all want to call me ‘daddy’ in the bedroom.

Now, I’m not one to kink shame, but I find that nickname a little icky – especially in a romantic or sexual context.

But, I have mostly stayed silent and played along, since most of my relationships have been strictly casual – nothing serious.

So, it was easy to ignore.

That is, until I met a woman I really liked – and was horrified to learn she, too, wanted to call me ‘daddy.’

While it started off as a fun fling, it has gradually become more serious and now I don’t have the heart to tell her I never liked the nickname in the first place. In fact, it’s a major turn off.

I can’t stomach being called ‘daddy’ every time we’re in bed if we continue our relationship, but I worry she will be angry if I tell her I’ve been lying.

Is there a way to tell her that the nickname repulses me without being rude – and worse, without making her think I’ve been deceiving her?

Sincerely,

Daddy issues

Dear Daddy issues,

I have also noticed this trend of women calling their boyfriends ‘daddy,’ and I, too, find it a little unsettling.

But it isn’t as weird as you may think. 

Linguistics are shifting, and these days, calling a lover ‘daddy’ has nothing to do with actual fathers. 

Rather, it’s more about women expressing that a man is protective in a way that makes them feel safe. It represents trust, rather than a father figure and many younger people use it in the bedroom knowing that they are blurring the lines between irony and intimacy.

Even if that explanation doesn’t change your perspective, healthy relationships require clear communication.

Just because you didn’t tell her in the beginning that her kink made you uncomfortable doesn’t mean that it’s too late to do so now.

In order for your new relationship to thrive, it’s vital that you’re honest.

Remember, say what you mean, mean what you say, don’t say it mean. This isn’t about shaming her but, rather, letting her know what you like or do not like.

If she’s the right woman for you, she will see it as such and respect it.