Every woman I know is gripped by the same X-rated thought about JFK Jr… look closely at these photos and you’ll see: JANA HOCKING
My Instagram algorithm currently has me in a white-hot daze, and I only have myself to blame.
I’ll confess, I made the mistake of looking at one too many pictures of JFK Jr… and now my ever-growing lust for him is being force-fed to me, leaving me longing for a ’90s kind of man.
John F Kennedy Jr, with his hairy chest, beautiful bouffant hair and heavy-set eyebrows has me – and most of the female population who have been locked into Ryan Murphy’s Love Story – all hot and bothered.
But there’s more to the sex appeal of John Jr than just his undeniable good looks. If we look at it on a deeper level, which I indeed have, there are some very specific traits that have us hooked.
For starters, he looks like he would ruin your life – in the best way possible.
Of all the hundreds of paparazzi pics of him, he has a certain je ne sais quoi. He was effortless – always slightly disheveled in his linen shirts (often unbuttoned to show off his toned physique) – and, despite his intoxicating charm, gave off emotionally unavailable energy (thanks in no small part to his reputation as a ladies’ man).
He’s the very definition of a ‘toxic boyfriend’ before it even had a name. And its catnip to women, like me, who love a man who’s not quite ready to grow up, who we think we can ‘fix.’
Then there’s the fact that he’s a nepo baby. Sure, they get a bad rap these days, but isn’t there something inherently fascinating about someone brought up in a glitzy, glamorous world so removed from our own?
There’s more to the sex appeal of John Jr (pictured in 1993) than just his undeniable good looks
JFK Jr (pictured in 1994), with his hairy chest, beautiful bouffant hair and heavy-set eyebrows has me – and most of the female population – all hot and bothered
He was born to be intriguing. And who could blame us for wanting to go to at least one family dinner just to bask in the family’s aura for a little while. A front-row seat to American history, if you will.
But its balanced out by his rebellious streak. (And who doesn’t love a little bit of a bad boy?)
He wasn’t the polished golden boy that fit perfectly into the Kennedy dynasty. In fact, history tells us he never quite got it together.
He dabbled in law, then media and publishing, but he was no tycoon. He never seemed like an overachiever or like he had that fully figured out energy about him.
But perfection is boring anyways. He felt like a man you could almost keep up with, but not quite.
Which brings me to the next reason we find him so attractive: he was famous but not try-hard famous.
He didn’t thirst for it. There were no publicity stunts on red carpets, no enhancement surgeries, no tweaks to his appearance.
He felt accessible. Relatable. Like you might bump into him jogging in Central Park or grabbing brunch at Bubby’s in Tribeca. He was rich, but far from showy.
I mean, if any other guy turned up to a date on a bike, I’d probably get the ick, but there’s something so charming about him cycling through the streets of New York despite having plenty of funds for a town car.
But JFK Jr also had what I call the ‘sad boy’ effect.
The iconic image of him as a boy saluting his father’s coffin as it drove past to the funeral did something to the collective psyche. And as he grew up, we witnessed him carrying that grief that we so badly wanted to mother out of him. (Freud would have a field day with this interpretation.)
Never mind the fact he also carried the pressure of living up to a father who, because of his dramatic and horrific death, is now seen as a martyr.
I think we all subconsciously read that grief, pressure and legacy as signs that JFK Jr had depth and sensitivity. A lethal mix. Whether those traits actually translated into real emotional availability is almost a moot point.
He dabbled in law, then media and publishing, but he was no tycoon. He never seemed like an overachiever or like he had that fully figured out energy about him
JFK Jr (pictured in 1998) felt accessible. Relatable. Like you might bump into him jogging in New York or grabbing brunch at Bubby’s in Tribeca
If any other guy turned up to a date on a bike, I’d probably get the ick, but there’s something so charming about him cycling through the streets of New York despite having plenty of funds for a town car. (Pictured: JFK Jr in NYC with his bike in 1989)
His relationship with Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy (pictured together in 1999) made him even hotter
And the fact is, his relationship with Carolyn Bessette made him even hotter.
She was this impossibly chic, aloof cool girl. And when a man lands a woman like that, one with her own personality and devil-may-care attitude, everyone else wonders what she could see in him.
She gave him, what the kids call these days, ‘clout.’
John Jr was no longer this cliché rich dude marrying a model or actress. He dated – then wed – the sexy, blonde Calvin Klein girl.
But perhaps most of all, what makes women like me swoon more than a quarter of a century after this man’s death is his nostalgia factor.
He grew up in a time without social media, when heartthrobs were just out of reach. Unlike the men we see today, pouting in mirror selfies, flexing their muscles on Instagram or oversharing on their podcasts, he had mystery about him.
There was no sliding into his DMs or dropping flame emojis under his thirst traps. Instead, we’re left with grainy paparazzi shots and the occasional interview, which creates a certain mystique. His attractiveness was amplified by scarcity.
If he were around today filming TikToks would the illusion hit the same? No way.
As the saying goes, we always want what we can’t have.
And I want a ’90s man just like John F Kennedy Jr.
Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s back to my algorithm so I can enjoy more highlight reels of grainy paparazzi shots set to the sweet, sweet tunes of a bygone decade.
Today’s Instagram studs could never.
