A family struggling with noisy upstairs neighbours have revealed the surprising way they chose to deal with the problem – and it’s sparked a debate online about whether kindness is the best policy.
Posting to Reddit, the mum explained that her upstairs neighbours were ‘pretty loud’ with ‘lead feet’ and often stomped, banged, and vacuumed at all hours.
‘They vacuum thrice a day, and I wish that was an exaggeration. Sometimes at 11pm,’ she wrote.
‘I have three kids who go to sleep between 7:30-8:30pm and they all have sound machines on full blast and sometimes it’s still not enough. As we speak, they are banging something so hard that the chair I’m sitting in is shaking.’
The problem had been ongoing for months, but instead of confronting the neighbours directly or complaining to the landlord, the family decided on an unexpected act of diplomacy.
The family put together a small gift basket and left it at the neighbours’ door.
Inside was a soy candle, a box of Ferrero Rocher dark chocolates, and a bottle of Pinot Noir.
Attached was a handwritten note.
The family put together a small gift basket and left it at the neighbours’ door
‘We wanted to drop off this basket as a little hello from downstairs. I also wanted to kindly mention something – the sound from your apartment carries more than you might realise, especially in the late evenings into the night,’ it read.
‘With our little ones going to bed early, it can be a bit tough when there’s a lot of loud movement or vacuuming late at night.
‘We also want to apologise if any of our noise ever disrupts you – we understand the kids may be a bit wild at times, and we try to be mindful.
‘We completely understand that everyone has their own routine, and we don’t expect you to change your lifestyle for us, but anything you can do to keep things a bit quieter in the late evenings into the night would mean a lot.’
The post quickly divided readers, with many praising the gesture as thoughtful and disarming.
‘You know it’s hard to take that poorly when you drop off a basket of goodies. Good call,’ one person wrote.
Another said: ‘Honestly if I got this at the door, I’d come apologise to you. Sometimes we get caught up in life and forget how we can affect others’ lives.’
Others shared their own experiences with noisy neighbours – some positive, some less so.
A family struggling with noisy upstairs neighbours have revealed the surprising way they chose to deal with the problem
‘I did something similar with a Starbucks gift card one time, but the neighbour found it patronising and unscrupulous. You may have better luck with the wine and chocolate!’ one warned.
Another recalled: ‘I left a gift basket once for my upstairs neighbour, but she complained to the leasing office that I made her feel uncomfortable. I moved out shortly after, and two years later every tenant who’s lived there has complained about how loud she is.’
Not everyone was convinced kindness was the way to go.
‘I will not be giving my neighbours anything – I’d be going to the management office. A nice gift isn’t going to guarantee they’ll listen,’ one commenter argued.
But many felt it was an elegant solution.
‘I’ve had friction with my downstairs neighbours but if they left me something like this, I would be crawling gently around my apartment from then on. This is so thoughtful,’ one said.
Whether the gift basket will actually make a difference remains to be seen.
But the gesture highlights a universal dilemma faced by apartment-dwellers everywhere: when noise starts to affect your quality of life, is it better to complain – or kill them with kindness?
