John Oliver trashes Trump’s ‘creepy’ comments on girls and dolls: ‘Makes my skin want to turn inside out’
Late-night host John Oliver skewered Donald Trump for his repeated remarks about the number of dolls “beautiful baby girls” can have amid the president’s “stupid trade war,” mocking Trump for the “creepy” and “very weird” way he talks about female children.
Prior to pressing a 90-day pause button on his exorbitant tariffs against China, the president spent the past week shrugging off the effect the import taxes would have on the price of goods in the United States. Specifically, he said that kids would just have to deal with fewer dolls and pencils.
“Maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls, you know? And maybe the two dolls will cost a couple of bucks more than they would normally,” Trump said at one point.
“What a very weird thing to say,” Oliver said during Sunday’s broadcast of Last Week Tonight. “It’s just another snapshot in the chaos album that is Trump having anything to do with children, because you can now put ‘kids will have two dolls instead of 30’ right up there with the lawnboy scream and that time he asked a kid if she believed in Santa Claus because, quote, ‘At seven, it’s marginal, right?’”
The HBO host then pointed out that this wasn’t the extent of the president’s ramblings on dolls, as he flagged the president saying a few days later that he doesn’t “think a beautiful baby girl that’s 11 years old needs to have 30 dolls” and that three or four would suffice.
“OK, there is so much there. ‘A beautiful baby girl that’s 11 years old’? Don’t call an 11-year-old that. First, it’s creepy. And second, I promise, you call an 11-year-old girl a baby, she’ll f*cking kill you,” Oliver reacted.
“To think the prime age for playing with dolls is 11 is almost impressively wrong,” he continued. “Everyone knows the breakdown of what people play with by age goes: blocks from ages one to three, dolls from ages three to seven, and our phones from ages eight until we die.”
Of course, Trump didn’t stop there. During a flight on Air Force One, the president once again waxed poetic about the subject, claiming that “a 10-year-old girl, a nine-year-old girl, a 15-year-old girl, doesn’t need 37 dolls” and that she should be happy with four or five.
“Every single way this man refers to girls makes my skin want to turn inside out,” the Last Week Tonight host declared with revulsion. “That said, I did also want to see him keep going there, just to see how many variations of ages and numbers he could cycle through.”
After mockingly impersonating the president trying to figure out the correct number of dolls by linking them to movies and Christmas hymns, Oliver then brought up a notorious figure from Trump’s past.
“Has he ever met a 15-year-old girl? That’s a dumb question. Of course he has. He was friends with Jeffrey Epstein,” Oliver snarked.
In the end, the political comedian joked that with the president seemingly going to war with the doll industry, sticks were primed to “make a comeback” amid the president’s on-again/off-again tariffs.
“Throw it, catch it, set it on fire. Just look at it,” he concluded. “The stick’s the only toy you’ll ever need, which is lucky because it’s also the only one you’ll ever have.”
