The naked truth about Page 3: Model Nicola Tappenden reveals ‘shocking’ wages, life-changing diagnosis at 41 and doomed relationship with Jeff Brazier
For years, Nicola Tappenden was one of Britain’s most recognisable Page 3 models, beaming from tabloids and red carpets with effortless glamour.
But behind the smiles and photo shoots, she carried a weight she couldn’t explain – until a life-changing diagnosis at 41 finally made everything make sense.
‘I spent my life feeling different,’ Nicola tells MailOnline. ‘Like I didn’t fit in. Always asking myself, ‘Why did I say that? Why did I do that?’
That nagging feeling would follow her through fame and her relationships, including a disastrous romance with TV presenter Jeff Brazier.
Twenty years earlier, before entering the world of glamour modelling, Nicola worked in compliance at Citibank and lived in Croydon with parents Tina and Steve.
A light-hearted pub chat with friends about her ‘great boobs’ led to her entering The Sun’s Page 3 Idol contest in 2002.
She kept her progress in the competition a secret from work and when her manager found out, he jokingly confronted her. However, the company’s HR wasn’t so lighthearted and told her she’d boosted office morale, but her time at the bank was up.
Soon after, Nicola won the contest with over 25,000 votes. The prize: a one-year contract with The Sun, red carpet invites, photoshoots, celebrity parties, and what was sold as a fast track to fame and fortune.
Nicola Tappenden – aka Nicola T – was a Page 3 icon in the noughties. Today, aged 42, she isn’t just a former model. She’s a mother, a businesswoman and a woman who’s finally found peace in who she is
The brunette beauty was the first ever winner of The Sun’s Page 3 Idol competition which launched in 2002 (Nicola is pictured here in 2008)
She was 20, living at home with her parents in Croydon and working for a bank when her friends encouraged her to apply for the contest, which she won after attracting more than 25,000 votes from The Sun readers
‘It was just a massive whirlwind,’ Nicola recalls.
Suddenly, at aged 20 Nicola was walking the red carpet and meeting A-listers at the premiere of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.
The following day’s paper would see Nicola posing in a barely-there dress with the headline: ‘Good Lord, it’s Nicola’s 2 towers!’.
‘One night I was at a premiere mixing with A-listers, the next morning I was having a bowl of cornflakes with my mum and dad,’ she says.
However, she would soon discover the promise of ‘fortune’ was underwhelming – £1,000 a month.
‘I was earning more at the bank,’ Nicola reveals.
‘I got paid £1,000 a month and then £250 a day to attend events but that might be one day a week or one day a month.’
Nicola also found the reality far less glamorous than it appeared.
Hours after being announced as the winner of The Sun’s Page 3 Idol competition, Nicola was whisked to the premiere of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Sun had a dress made for Nicola, but ‘it was horrific,’ she recalls. ‘I remember feeling so self-conscious and exposed’
The very revealing Lipsy cream halter neck dress featured a thigh-high split and a pink clasp in the shape of a figure 3
‘I think I did Page 3 for about five years altogether.
‘It just isn’t what you think it would be.’
Despite the public attention, Nicola began to realise that behind the glossy images, her mental health was unravelling. She never felt good enough – not pretty enough, not smart enough and not worthy.
She was also subject to a deeply unsettling experience. During a visit to Gibraltar to welcome home Royal Navy officers, Nicola found herself alone in a private room with a group of drunk, high-ranking men.
They pressured her to expose herself. Intimidated and alone, she complied – then fled the room in tears.
‘They just kept chanting. I eventually gave in – and I’ve never felt so ashamed.’
Back in England, her agent reported the incident. She was sent flowers and an apology – she heard nothing more.
‘I was young and vulnerable, and instead of being protected, I was exposed,’ she says.
Despite the challenges, Nicola became iconic in the Page 3 world. But inwardly, she struggled with relentless self-doubt.
‘I never felt pretty enough. I would obsess over every photo. I just wanted to be liked.’
She dated several high-profile men, including footballers Bobby Zamora and Simon Walton, who she welcomed daughter Poppy with.
Nicola dated professional footballer Bobby Zamora for a few years. Bobby, she says, opened her eyes to a world beyond Croydon. (The pair at a film premiere in 2006)
She also dated TV presenter Jeff Brazier for just over a year after meeting at a nightclub event – but the relationship was ‘unhealthy’. (The pair pictured in February 2013)
Nicola pictured with footballer Simon Walton in 2011. The pair welcomed daughter Poppy together but later split, before rekindling their love years later. They now live together in Surrey
Bobby, she says, opened her eyes to a world beyond Croydon.
‘He lived in a penthouse in Canary Wharf, and showed me a totally different kind of life. He was normal, funny, kind. I’m grateful to him for that.’
She later dated Jeff Brazier, TV presenter and ex-partner of the late Jade Goody. Their relationship, Nicola says, was deeply unhealthy from the start.
‘If I’d known then what I know now – about trauma, about myself – I never would have stayed. But I did, because I was desperate to be liked, to feel enough.
‘There was a defining moment, and at that point, I should have said I’m never going to speak to you ever again.’
Meanwhile, as the Page 3 culture shifted, Nicola became disillusioned.
‘The early days of Page 3 when photographer Beverley Goodway was there were the best,’ she says.
‘He created this amazing culture and when the girls got together, we all loved to see each other.
‘It changed when Beverley retired.’
Despite how glamorous the job looked, it wasn’t all it seemed. ‘I think I did Page 3 for about five years altogether,’ says Nicola. ‘It just isn’t what you think it would be.’
One of the things Nicola didn’t have to worry about during her glamour modelling days was the pressure on looks and social media. ‘I would not have been able to hack the trolling,’ she says. ‘Botox and filler wasn’t part of The Sun culture, because we were girls next door. None of us went to the gym. They didn’t want ultra skinny girls. They wanted curves and natural beauty.’
Nicola quit Page 3 over a bust-up with a fellow model who was being unkind about ex-The Only Way is Essex star Maria Fowler: ‘I’m not normally a confrontational person but I just lost it.’
During a calendar shoot, Nicola clashed with another model over their unkind behaviour. To this day, she’s unsure if she quit or was pushed out – but either way, she was done.
She remains close to fellow ex-Page 3 girls Nikkala Stott and Keeley Hazell.
‘We laugh all the time because they say I got sacked. If I got sacked, I didn’t know about it. But I never went on Page 3 again,’ she says.
By then, Nicola had built a successful business, launched a fashion label, and went on to appear on reality TV shows, including WAGs Boutique and Celebrity Big Brother where she entered the house to boos.
‘Coming out to cheers felt like people were finally seeing me for who I really was,’ she says.
But the turning point in Nicola’s life came at the school gates. A fellow mum suggested Nicola might have ADHD after recognising the same symptoms her daughter had.
At first, Nicola was stunned. She then received a professional diagnosis and cried for weeks.
‘It was like someone had lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I realised there was never anything ‘wrong’ with me, it was what was right with me.
‘I grieved for that little girl who was constantly misunderstood. The girl who always felt like she was failing and never good enough.’
Despite having brains and beauty, Nicola never felt good enough – not pretty enough, not smart enough and not worthy
A turning point in Nicola’s life came years a few years ago, during a chat at the school gates. A fellow mum gently suggested that Nicola might have ADHD. At first, she was stunned. Then came the tears
Nicola now lives a quieter life in Surrey with ex-footballer partner Simon – whom she reunited with 12 years after their split – and her two children
Nicola and her family. Pictured left to right: Son Louis, partner Simon, Nicola and daughter Poppy
The diagnosis reframed her life. It also gave her the tools to help her daughter, Poppy, who has also been diagnosed with ADHD.
Determined to support other women like her, Nicola launched Noops, a supplement brand aimed at managing ADHD symptoms.
She spent 18 months working with scientists to develop the gluten-free and vegan supplement designed to support brain health, energy, mood, focus and sleep.
‘I didn’t want more chemical medication. But the supplement market was overwhelming. So I created what I wished had existed,’ says Nicola, who also runs digital consultancy, Belle Digital.
Now 42, she lives a quieter life in Surrey with ex-footballer partner Simon – whom she reunited with 12 years after their split – and their daughter, Poppy, 16, as well as son Louis, five, who she had in another relationship.
‘Simon and I found each other again and it’s definitely where I’m meant to be.’
Nicola no longer chases the limelight – she chases meaning.
‘Celebrity life wasn’t good for my mental health. It made me feel desperate, and I never want to feel like that again,’ she says.
Determined to support other women like her, Nicola has launched Noops, a supplement brand aimed at managing ADHD symptoms. She hopes to take it to America
‘I didn’t want more chemical medication. But the supplement market was overwhelming. So I created what I wished had existed,’ she says. The gluten-free and vegan supplement is designed to support brain health, energy, mood, focus and sleep
Meanwhile, Nicola no longer chases the limelight – she chases meaning. She dreams of launching a ADHD support network for women, to help others avoid the pain she endured silently for so long
She dreams of launching a ADHD support network for women, to help others avoid the pain she endured silently for so long.
And she has her sights set on taking Noops to America, as well as raising awareness about ADHD in girls.
She explains: ‘ADHD goes undiagnosed in girls because the traits are so different. In boys, we recognise the traits as being hyperactive and a naughty little boy,
‘But little girls, it’s so different. They are almost in a bubble, in a fairy bubble.’
Today, Nicola isn’t just a former model. She’s a mother, a businesswoman, an ADHD advocate – and someone who has finally found peace in who she is.
‘There were times I didn’t want to be here anymore. But now I know – I was always worthy. I just needed to understand myself first.’
