I told my friend not to come to my birthday dinner if she’s bringing her kid – now she’s mad at me

A woman has questioned if she’s in the wrong for asking her friend not to come to her birthday dinner if she plans on bringing her child.

The woman rented out a private room with a bar at a restaurant and she also hired a babysitter to take care of her three-year-old, as it was an adults-only event. 

However, her friend Missy mentioned she was going to bring her five-year-old.

Sharing the details on Reddit, the woman said she offered to pay her babysitter extra to watch Missy’s daughter, but she said no. 

After a heated conversation between the two friends, the woman said it’s best that she doesn’t come. 

‘I told Missy I can’t stop her from coming to the restaurant but we absolutely will not allow her to come into the private room. She’s very hurt that we’re excluding her,’ she wrote. 

The main reason Missy doesn’t want someone to babysit her daughter is because she would’ve been at daycare all day and doesn’t want her to be with a sitter at night.

The woman outlined her friendship group will likely drink a lot of alcohol and is aware Missy’s child is still young. 

‘Missy’s daughter is like a lot of five-year-olds – she doesn’t sit still, wants to run over the place,’ she wrote. 

‘Missy admits she doesn’t bring her out to restaurants much because she doesn’t know how to act. But I also know Missy will just sort of let her as she’s very permissive.

Missy then ‘threw a fit’ when another friend told her not to bring her daughter and said she’s no longer going to attend. 

‘I said I completely understand. There are events I have missed because I don’t want to leave my daughter and the group understands as we all have kids,’ the woman continued. 

‘I told Missy I’d be glad to have a play date or lunch another time with our kids so we can still hang out.’ 

The woman asked the Reddit forum if she’s a bad friend for not wanting a kid at her birthday dinner. 

Hundreds shared their opinion on the situation and said she’s ‘not a bad friend’. 

‘You offered reasonable solutions and she refused. When a person chooses a lifestyle, they have to deal with whatever comes with it. But they aren’t entitled to special treatment, especially when people of a similar lifestyle have adapted,’ one commented. 

‘She’s not being excluded. She’s excluding herself. Parents like this worry me. Parents who get this upset that they were told they can’t bring their vaild to a completely child inappropriate place just doesn’t sit right with me,’ another wrote. 

A third said: ‘This is an adult gathering and you offered a generous solution in paying your baby sitter extra to watch both kids.’ 

‘Not only that, but would you want to bring a five-year-old to an adult party where there’s alcohol and no other children?’ another asked.  

Someone else said: ‘I know it’s hard for some parents to understand, but I don’t give a s*** about your kid. This event is for adults, and it’s not kid friendly, so Missy gets to make a choice: Stay home with the kid OR come to the party without the kid.’ 

‘Nothing more irritating than when someone brings their kid to an adults-only meetup and lets the kid run amok because they assume that the entire group is going to watch the kid so the parent gets to do what they want,’ one more added.