‘I loved you and didn’t want to let you go’: Mother’s heartbreaking message from beyond the grave to son she was forced to give up for adoption – as family find him after 30-year search

A woman whose older brother was put up for adoption has revealed her joy at finally meeting him after a 30-year search – fulfilling their mother’s dying wish.

Jayne Hadlow, 60, from Essex, met her brother Andrew for the first time this year.

The pair’s mother Kathleen was unmarried when she had Andrew at the age of 21, and to her heartbreak, her strict Catholic parents put her son – who she’d named Jeffrey – up for adoption behind her back.

In 1994, at the age of 53, Kathleen sadly died of cancer, and her final wish was for Jayne to find her firstborn and tell him that he was loved.

‘I still know that it hurt Mum to the depths of her soul to let him go,’ Jayne told tonight’s episode of ITV’s Long Lost Family.

‘She carried it with her for the rest of her life.’

‘One of the final things she spoke about was Jeffery, and she said, “Jayne, when I’m gone, can you please find him for me; can you please tell him what happened, and tell him that I loved him and that I didn’t want to let him go”. She held my hand and she said, “Please, please make sure that you do it”.’

Growing up, Jayne and her two younger brothers, Stephen and Jamie, were unaware of Andrew’s existence.

But when she was 19, Jayne’s life changed forever when her mother told her the truth.

Jayne explained, ‘Mum was 21 when she had Jeffery. He was born two years before me. She went home one day and he wasn’t there. My grandparents had the baby adopted. I can’t imagine the pain of that. She carried that every single day.’

Kathleen was always the life and soul of the party, but there was one day each year when her mood and behaviour completely changed.

Their late father would always take Jayne and her siblings out on bonfire night, but Kathleen always refused to come.

The children would see her the next day and see that she was upset, her face swollen from crying.

Jayne explained, ‘Bonfire night every year my father would take us out. We were just super excited to see the fireworks with dad, it was great.’

Despite the festive fun, they would always question why their mother wouldn’t come. ‘She wasn’t her usual bright self.

‘We’d come back and mum would be in the bedroom and we wouldn’t really see her until the next day. We could always tell she’d been upset and crying.

It wasn’t until Jayne was 19 that she discovered the reason behind her mother’s sadness.

‘She just said to me one day, ‘I need to tell you something, you’ve got a brother; his name is Jeffery, and I had him adopted, well, I didn’t have him adopted, he was adopted.’

‘Jeffery was born on the 6 November, 1962. Bonfire night was the night that would bring all those memories back. Now I understand why she was so upset at that time of year.’

Piecing together her family’s past, she visited her mother’s home in Liverpool, where she was raised.

She said, ‘My grandparents were not happy at all at mum being pregnant and not being married. They were very strict Catholics. They sent her away to the Isle of Wight. They were basically trying to hide it.’

Kathleen spent the duration of her pregnancy miles away from family and friends, and when it was time to have her baby, she returned to Liverpool.’

‘After she had Jeffery, I think the pressure from her parents probably got on her every single day.’

‘I think she fought it as hard as she could, she wasn’t going to let him go. But she came home one day and the baby wasn’t there, he was gone.’

Jayne added, ‘It hurt mum to the depths of her soul to let him go. She carried it with her for the rest of her life.’

Kathleen sadly died at the age of 53, and one of the last things she spoke about was her long-lost son.

Before Jayne went to the Long Lost Family team, she had exhausted all search options and hit a dead end.

However, thankfully, the team discovered that Jeffrey was adopted by a couple who lived in the Lake District and that his name was changed to Andrew.

The show’s team of specialist intermediaries found that he is now living in Bristol, and wrote to him to reveal that he has a younger sister who is desperate to find him.

Host Nicky Campbell travelled to Bristol to meet Andrew, who welcomed the news that his birth family was searching for him.

Discussing his life with his adoptive family, Andrew told Nicky, ‘I had a great upbringing, a great childhood, I felt a part of that family, they made me feel like a part of it. That’s why I never went looking, it was that loyalty.’

However, after hearing the news of Jayne’s search, Andrew was visibly taken aback and agreed to meet his birth siblings.

Meanwhile, co-host Davina McCall went to visit Jayne to share the news that her elder brother had been found, who was ecstatic, and after seeing an image, marvelled over Andrew’s physical similarities to her mother.

She said at the time, ‘Oh wow, I can see mum. Oh, I can’t believe I’m actually seeing him! And I never had a big brother. Oh, how amazing.’

Jayne shares the news with her two brothers, Stephen and Jamie, who are also over the moon at the prospect of meeting Andrew.

At the end of the episode, in an emotional scene, the siblings finally had the reunion that Jayne had hoped for.

‘As soon as I walked into the room, I just knew instantly that he was a part of me. He was part of our family.’

Jayne told her brother about her family’s past, and they bonded over their similarities.

Andrew said, ‘It’s just incredible, the connection is there, and the instant warmth. Let’s get on and fit in what we’ve missed in the past 30 years.’

He added, ‘They couldn’t have made me feel more welcome if they tried. It was fantastic.’

Jayne concluded, ‘I feel like I’ve answered mum’s request, so I know she’ll be looking down, and she’ll be so happy.’

Long Lost Family airs tonight, Thursday 2nd October, on ITV1 and ITVX at 9pm.