Internet trolls say I suffocated my baby… but it was really a horrifying freak accident that could happen to any new mom

Rebekka Card’s fingers trembled as she tenderly dressed her baby, Hayden, in the outfit that three generations of boys in her husband’s family had worn for their baptisms.
It took a while to put the delicate silk vest over the long-sleeved onesie sewn by Cameron’s grandmother more than 50 years earlier.
As tricky as the tiny buttons were to fasten, Card wanted her son to look his best for the ceremony ahead.
But she was not readying Hayden for the Christian sacrament of initiation. She was preparing him for his funeral.
The infant died at just four months old in circumstances too horrifying to contemplate.
His mother fell asleep while breastfeeding him in bed and woke in the early hours to find him unresponsive.
It is the kind of trauma from which many bereaved parents never recover. Card, however, has found purpose in sharing details of the tragedy to let other parents, enduring similar loss, know that they are not alone.
‘Hayden’s passing has left a huge void in my heart,’ the 27-year-old told the Daily Mail. ‘But I’m living the rest of my life in his honor to make him proud.’
Rebekka Card with her baby son, Hayden. ‘His passing has left a huge void in my heart,’ she said

Hayden when he reached his milestone age of three months in December 2021
The night of January 7, 2022, was much like any other in the Cards’ household in Gilbert, Arizona. It was the end of an exhausting day, and she was just beginning to feel herself again after a bout of sickness.
She worked from home as an insurance adjuster while her mother helped care for Hayden and his older brother, Bentley, then 17 months.
Card and Cameron, a mechanic, went through the usual routine of bathing the children before tucking them in for the evening. Card nursed Hayden around 9pm and put him in a cushioned baby ‘nest’ on the couple’s king-sized bed.
Hayden often became anxious and fidgety in his crib and slept better – and longer – in the little rimmed mattress by her side. Exclusively breast fed, it was effortless to scoop him up to latch on when needed.
The couple tidied the house before joining their youngest son, a momma’s boy with beautiful, piercing blue eyes, around 10pm. They put the nest in its usual position to Card’s left while she slept in the middle next to Cameron.
She recalled that Hayden wanted to feed just before 1am and she put him across her lap, sitting up against the wall to keep alert during the nursing session.
But, drained from the day and the vestiges of illness, she nodded off. The next thing she remembered was Cameron’s voice calling Hayden’s name. It was shortly before 5am. He had seen that Hayden wasn’t in his cushioned mattress.
The following seconds played out in slow motion. Confused, Card jumped out of the bed to scan the floor. Could Hayden have rolled over the edge?
Then she realized that the baby was in her arms. He was perfectly still. He felt warm. But something was terribly wrong.
Card began CPR while Cameron dialed 911. Then, terrified that her compressions might be too hard on Hayden’s tiny body, she swapped places to finish the call with the dispatcher.
‘I couldn’t work on him any longer because I thought I might be causing damage by crushing his chest,’ she said. ‘I thought: ‘I need to help him, but I don’t want to make things worse.’
The emergency services arrived within 15 minutes. Police officers immediately separated the couple as paramedics attempted resuscitation.
Card later learned that it was standard procedure to prevent couples from colluding on some kind of defense.
‘I understand now that they had to do their due diligence but not being allowed to be with my son when he needed me most was incredibly painful,’ she said.
‘They treated us like criminals.’

Card described Hayden as a momma’s boy with beautiful, piercing blue eyes. He was exclusively breast fed

Card with her husband, Cameron, and their sons, Bentley, and Hayden. Bentley was 17 months old when his brother died

Hayden often became anxious and fidgety in his crib and slept better – and longer – in a cushioned baby ‘nest’ Card would place next to her in the family bed
The questioning seemed accusatory. Police asked if Card had been intoxicated and whether she was ‘in her right mind’.
They were transported to the hospital in the same police car, too stunned to speak to each other. At one point, Card made eye contact with Cameron and they both burst into tears.
At the hospital, they were shown into a private room and left to wait for what seemed like hours. Finally, two doctors and a nurse came in. Their grim faces gave away the devastating news: Hayden was gone.
‘My first instinct was to go to him,’ Card said, ‘and I begged them to let us see him. But they shook their heads.’
A police officer explained that a visit might impede their investigation into whether foul play was involved.
They went home to check on Bentley, who was with relatives, and sat, numb. Card’s phone rang at 12:30pm. The initial investigation into Hayden’s death has concluded and the couple were allowed to see him.
They were allowed to stay with Hayden for more than an hour but didn’t exchange a word. Card took photographs of him cocooned in a blanket. She wasn’t allowed to pick him up.
‘The police had told us his body would be sent for an autopsy,’ she recalled. ‘We knew that our baby wouldn’t look the same after the procedure and I wanted memories of how perfect he was at the time of his passing.’
The next few days were a blur. The autopsy was completed within 48 hours and Hayden was taken to a funeral home. There, Card dressed her little boy in the treasured heirloom handed down by his father and uncles.
Hayden was cremated on January 16. The grief was crushing, made worse by the finger of suspicion that detectives still appeared to point at the couple.
After the funeral, police wanted them to re-enact Hayden’s death to confirm that it was an accident.
‘I immediately turned them down,’ Card said. ‘I told them: ‘If my word isn’t enough, then go ahead and put me in handcuffs and send me to jail.’
However, Cameron agreed to carry out the heartbreaking task on behalf of them both.
It was the turning point in the investigation. One detective confided how he related to their loss because he and his wife had suffered a stillbirth. He said he believed their story without hesitation that Hayden’s death had been a freak accident.
‘We were finally treated like we had lost our child,’ she said. No charges were brought.
The autopsy listed Hayden’s cause of death as ‘undetermined.’ There were no signs of trauma, disease, infection, particles or toxins in his airway, ruling out suffocation.
Still, there was a paragraph suggesting signs ‘consistent with sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)’ and mention of a ‘sleeping position causing a baby to not be able to breathe.’
Card acknowledged that many relationships fall apart in the face of despair such as the loss of a child but said that her marriage remains strong.
Cameron has never blamed his wife for what happened. Even when Card begged him to tell her his true feelings, he insisted there was nothing to feel guilty about.
‘I think the biggest blame was on myself,’ she said, adding that she had struggled to stop her mind drifting towards ‘what if?’ and ‘if only.’
Posting her thoughts on TikTok has helped her heal. In one clip, she talks bluntly about falling asleep while nursing her son, and notes ‘tragedy only looks preventable when you’re not the one going through it.’
As for co-sleeping, Card directs people to bed-share resources such as Safe Sleep Seven, which offers practical advice.

Card and Cameron holding Bentley at his baptism when he was three months old — Hayden wore the same precious outfit for his funeral. The heirloom had been handed down through three generations

Card had some of Hayden’s ashes incorporated into a tattoo of his footprint on her wrist
The reaction on social media has been mixed. Card says that 60 percent of the comments are positive and empathetic, 20 percent constructive and 20 percent hateful.
‘I’ve had people say that I suffocated my son and shouldn’t be allowed to have more children,’ she said. ‘But no matter what you do in life, there is going to be negativity from those who haven’t walked in your shoes.’
She has found a community of parents who have experienced similar heartache and find some comfort in sharing their stories.
‘Instead of letting tragedy eat you up, you can turn pain into purpose,’ said Card.
The family now lives in Nashville, Tennessee, and includes a daughter, Delaney, born a year after Hayden died. Card is six months pregnant with her third son.
Meanwhile, she and Cameron had some of Hayden’s ashes incorporated into tattoos on their arms in a lasting tribute. ‘That way,’ she said, ‘wherever we go, he is always with us.’