Everyone loves a good country death song — even if no actual no-accounts are harmed during the making of the tune. In the case of Kaitlin Butts‘ sprightly “You Ain’t Gotta Be Dead (to Be Dead to Me),” being as good as dead is good enough. And the Oklahoma-bred singer’s way of storytelling has kicked up a lively storm on TikTok, where thousands of celebrities and normies alike have gleefully lip-synched to a portion of the track that is particularly dead…pan. (“You know, I think I have heard of that man. I think I heard he got run over by a train. Mauled by a bear, maybe. Hopefully.”)
The celebs who’ve put their own mouths around these sentiments range from Bethenny Frankel to country star Ella Langley (who took gossip to the next level with speculation that she was using Butts’ tune to allude to a possible celebrity ex of her own). But the voice shining through all this miming is the winsome, only moderately wicked one of Butts, who has for years been a cult favorite among fans of traditional country. The Grand Ole Opry had already made her a member of its Opry Next Stage class of 2025, but the viral breakout of “You Ain’t Gotta Be Dead” has given a newly high profile to Butts’ highly worthy year-old album, “Roadrunner.”
Variety talked with Butts about the sudden notoriety and how, comical as it may seem, the song has some serious underpinnings, born out of a family relationship that she wished to wash her hands of. We also discussed how the “Roadrunner” album is sort of a full-length answer record to Rodgers & Hammerstein’s “Oklahoma!” But first of all: let’s get “Dead.”
In and out of the country world, people have loved this song — there’s a sentiment and a hook that grab listeners of many inclinations. What’s it been like for you to get that kind of sudden attention?
No one gets to really choose their viral moment, if you get one. So I’m really proud that this is the song that the algorithm chose and that my friends chose to help lift up, and that it’s a more traditional country song. I listen to all kinds of music, but that’s what I grew up listening to, and I feel glad that it’s this song. It’s got the Southern charm, but it is standing up to toxic people, with a good message to it. And it’s got fiddle on it. They’re playing fiddle on country radio!
Was there one trigger for it catching on, on TikTok— one person who did a video that helped bring on the others?
The first one was Avery Anna, a young girl who’s just taking off. We’re both in the Opry Next Stage class of 2025 together. She told me how much she loved the song and started making funny videos to it. Normally you’re the one making up the prompt for the TikTok, but she did it herself. I saw some traction on Spotify and a little jump in numbers, so I played into it a little bit. And then Ella Langley posted her TikTok, which is probably at 9 million views right now; it’s her biggest TikTok on there. It kind of stirred into a little bit of an internet drama that may or may not be real, but she definitely played into it. At that moment was when it fully took off.
In response to the speculation that she was sending out a coded message about her love life, Ella Langley put up a statement saying it was unrelated to that and was completely innocent. What do you think? Should we believe her on that or not?
I don’t know. I think I believe her because I don’t feel like she’s anyone to tell a lie. I think she was being fully innocent. But either way, it pulled me into the fake internet drama, and I’m here for it, either way. It helped my song and I don’t even care.
Who else is on the list of celebs that have done a TikTok to the song? Renee Rapp and Valerie Bertinelli, right?
And then a Real Housewives in New York, Bethenny Frankel. That was a big one for me.
And then Brianna “Chickenfry” LaPaglia, Zach Bryan’s ex. You replied, “The song was actually made for you.”
Yeah, that was a fun one and a big one for me. I respect her and what she did, and then for her to post, that was pretty cool.
You already had a full year of tour dates lined up before this even happened.
Yes. I mean, we did 160 shows last year, which is too many. I think we’re looking at around 130 probably this year, which is still a lot. But it’s all these great opportunities that I’ve wanted to happen for so long, and these were already planned before this moment happened — going on tour with Lainey Wilson, Sierra Ferrell, Molly Tuttle, Flatland Cavalry, Wyatt Flores…
With some people who have TikTok sensations, it can be like a mixed blessing if the part that goes viral is not the few seconds that are most recognizable or that you would most want to emphasize. This is ideal for you in a way because even though it’s not the whole chorus, and it’s mostly the spoken-word part of the song, it ends with the beginning of the chorus, and people may think, “Oh, I want to hear the rest of that.”
Yeah, they recognize that it’s a song and not part of a movie or something like that. And the hook is right in the first line. It is so convenient and perfect. I couldn’t be more proud of this actual song too, getting to write it with Natalie Hemby, who’s written so many huge songs. I get so starstruck around her and I act cool, but I adore her and I’m just proud that this song was with her. Beyond that, it’s something that I feel truly represents me as an artist with humor and storytelling. I really love to make people laugh at my show, and laugh through the pain or whatever toxic person they’re having to deal with.
Where does the spirit of the song come from for you?
If you go through the sound on TikTok and look at all the faces, they’re all women, and it’s so funny that so many of them relate to this sweet but kind of bitchy humor. If you’re in country music, you probably either have sung a murder song or written one, and I’ve written a few, but what my mom taught me is: “They don’t have to die. They can just be dead to you.” That was a true sentiment that she taught me. That is such an Oklahoma thing and such a Southern girl thing that we have within us. I’ve been told that women don’t support other women, or women don’t like to hear women on the radio, and that’s just not true. This is a testament to that.
You posted something from the Opry on Father’s Day, sending it out in honor of the not-great dads people have had to deal with. Of course not every women who relates to the hook is thinking about a dad, but some are.
With country music too, we exist in this world that is so family-oriented. And while I love my family, there are elements to being family that can be toxic, and things that we accept from our family that we wouldn’t accept from our friends, and I don’t think that’s how it should be. If someone makes you feel small or if they cross boundaries that you’ve asked ’em not to cross, or if they don’t love you unconditionally for exactly the way that you are, I don’t think you should have to be around them. And that message permeates through what I’m trying to say. So if you relate to “You Ain’t Gotta Die,” you might relate to some other things like “The Cause” or the more sad songs that I’ve written that are about family or just toxic people in your life. But I hope that it leads you to “You Ain’t Gotta Die,” which is coping with humor and just leaving ’em in the dust.
You appeared on Bobby Bones’ show the other week, and you mentioned something about a cease-and-desist from your father. I didn’t know if you were kidding about that or not.
I wish I was. I wish I was.
So, that’s definitely a reality-based situation.
Oh, 100%. It’s not something… It’s hard to talk about, because I just don’t want to have to deal with him legally. But yeah, I mean, it’s definitely a true deal, and I write what I know and it’s hard to not write about something that is so close to me. But yeah, he definitely likes to send those. But I think that whenever you leave someone like that out of your life, they’re going to grasp for anything that they can to pull you back down to their level. And I think that this is truly a testament to the song, which is like, if you just ignore them, they’re gonna go away. And they may try to send you cease-and-desists to make you stop talking about them, but whenever things are true, you can’t really do anything about that.
You have a collection of songs that is very light-hearted and more serious in turn.
Yeah, if you’re in the mood for the truth, or just whatever you’re in the mood for, I think coping with music is the best healing device I’ve found. So just pick a spot on the map on my album and you’ll find something that you can cope with.
Apart from talking about “You Ain’t Gotta Die,” your album has a big “Oklahoma!” tie-in that is pretty unusual. You’ve said the album correlates with the “Oklahoma!” soundtrack in your mind, and the closest thing I can think of to that is Liz Phair saying back in the day that her debut album was a song-by-song response to the Rolling Stones’ “Exile on Main Street.” In your case, was the Rodgers & Hammerstein musical just a general inspiration for the album in some way, or were you actually thinking of song-by-song correlaries?
I should send you the vinyl (liner notes), because there you can see that, yeah, every song on the album has a timestamp that correlates with a moment, a scene or a line from the motion picture of “Oklahoma!”
How did that start out?
I went full psychopath. It was 2020. I was bleaching my groceries, and I might’ve been inhaling the bleach from the groceries, I have no idea. But I had the song called “Spur,” where the hook is: “Why do you give her the spur when you know she needs the reins?” And we were rewatching “Oklahoma!” — my husband had never seen it before — and I was watching this scene where Laurie throws Judd out of his own wagon and leaves him in the dust, and she takes the reins. I was like, “Oh my gosh. That’s the visual I would want for ‘Why do you give her the spur when you know she needs the reins?’” I was like, “Oh my God. If I were to record that song and use the Spotify canvas, the seven-second video that plays while you listen to the song, that frame would be perfect to go over my song ‘Spur.’” And then I’m sitting there thinking, “Do I have anything else that goes with ‘Oklahoma!,’ the musical? Why haven’t I thought about this before?” I’m from Oklahoma. I did musical theater. This is so authentic to me.
And then I thought about “Wild Juanita’s Cactus Juice,” which I’d written in 2018, about a peddler woman selling magical elixir to save the world, where the peddler man (in “Oklahoma!”), Ali Hakim, is selling smelling salts and is helping you see the future and help you make decisions. And when I made those two connections while watching the movie, I was like: There’s no way that this is a coincidence. And I just started to build from there and dig into my catalog a little bit to see which things fit where. I think I create better with confines, or with a parameter, and it helped me. Some people feel trapped when they do that, but it helps me blossom more. And then I started thinking, “What is the modern version of ‘Is It All or Nothin’ With You’? That’s ‘If you fuck around, I’ll hunt you down’.” So it was like a puzzle for me, really figuring out what made “Oklahoma!” “Oklahoma!” and making sure that I tapped into each character — from Ado Annie, who is my favorite character, to Judd. I hope that it still translates if you haven’t seen it, and the songs can still stand alone. But I went full-blown crazy.
