Savannah Guthrie holds back tears as she describes ‘deep disappointment with God’ and cruel torture she’s enduring this Easter without her mother Nancy

Savannah Guthrie held back tears as she described her ‘deep disappointment with God’ on the first Easter without her beloved mother Nancy. 

The Today Show host, who recently made her way back to New York City after more than two months without any indication of where her missing 84-year-old mother is, delivered a personal message on Sunday morning. 

During the holiday mass at her church, Good Shepard New York, Savannah shared what this day means for her, as Nancy has yet to be seen or heard from since her mysterious disappearance from her home in Tucson, Arizona, on February 1. 

After speaking about what Easter is all about, including family time and Spring cheer, Savannah said it’s been challenging for her to navigate the day. 

‘We celebrate today the promise of a new life that never ends in death. But, standing here today, I have to tell you, there are moments in which that promise seems irretrievably far away,’ she said as her voice trembled. 

‘When life itself seems far harder than death. These moments of deep disappointment with God, the feeling of utter abandonment. 

‘For most of us, there will come a time in our lives when these feelings hold sway. In our tradition, we are taught to take comfort in the fact that our friend, Jesus, in his short life, experienced every single emotion that we humans can feel. 

‘That his taking on the form of humanity made him not a distant observer to our pain, but a hands-on experiencer of it. Recently, though, in my own season of trial, I have wondered, I have questioned whether Jesus ever experienced this particular wound that I feel,’ Savannah shared, referring to the ‘grievous and uniquely cruel injury of not known’ she is enduring. 

Since her mother vanished, there have been a series of blackmail messages sent to the family and to media outlets demanding money in bitcoin in return for Nancy. 

None of the ransoms were ever paid as the Guthrie family demanded that they proof of life, but never got it. 

Authorities and the family also could not verify the authenticity of the ransom notes, despite their willingness to pay. 

Over the course of the investigation, only a few people have been taken in for questioning. No one has been arrested. 

Various pieces of evidence have also been found at the home and in the surrounding area, including drops of blood on Nancy’s front porch, a torn-down doorbell camera, and various gloves. 

Surveillance footage also captured a masked person outside her front door, appearing to tamper with the doorbell camera before it was snatched off. 

Nearly two weeks ago, Savannah revealed she will return to anchoring the Today Show on Monday, April 6, but warned her comeback might be short-lived because of her mother’s abduction. 

In a tearful interview with her NBC colleague Hoda Kotb, Savannah said of her Today colleagues: ‘I have been so grateful to have this family.

‘I consider this my family, my greater family, and when times are hard, you want to be with your family and I want to be with my family,’ she said.

‘I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if I’ll belong anymore but I would like to try.’ 

She’s been off-screen since the horrible news broke,  and suggested she is a fundamentally different person from the one last seen hosting from Studio One at NYC’s Rockefeller Center.

‘I can’t come back and try to be something that I’m not. But I can’t not come back, because it’s my family. I think it’s part of my purpose right now,’ she told Kotb in the portion of the interview that aired Friday.

‘I want to smile, and when I do, it will be real. My joy will be my protest. My joy will be my answer. And being there is joyful.

‘And when it’s not, I’ll say so.’

Savannah, in her interview with Kotb, also suggested that she could forgive Nancy’s kidnapper if they come forward.

‘We need an answer and someone has it in their power to help,’ she said, before directly addressing her mother’s abductor and potential witnesses.

‘It is never too late and when you do, the warmth of love and forgiveness, that will come, will be greater than can be imagined.

‘I know what it is to be forgiven. And there is no greater joy. And that joy awaits whoever can hear this and find it in their heart to help.’

The Today show co-host further shared how her Christian faith has kept her connected to her mom and helped her survive the horrific nightmare.

‘God doesn’t tell us not to wrestle with him. This isn’t some cheap faith and my mom taught me that. God only requires our authentic presence, and that he has,’ she said.

Savannah said she ‘never doubted’ God despite the pain that her family was enduring.

‘Faith is how I will stay connected to my mom. God is how I’m holding hands with my mom. And I won’t let sadness win.’