Selma Blair felt as if she was being gaslit from the time she was a pre-teen. Constance Zimmer was shocked at how much she didn’t know about what to expect about her health after she turned 50. The common thread for both actors after facing physical challenges was the realization that women need to demand more from the medical establishment.
Blair and Zimmer spoke about their experiences as part of the Flow Space Women’s Health Summit, held in Los Angeles on Oct. 9. Blair discussed her lifelong struggle with pain, fatigue and neurological problems that were not diagnosed as multiple sclerosis until she was in her 40s in 2018. Zimmer appeared with writer and podcaster Heidi Clements in a session about the pair’s initiative to educate women about the physical and emotional changes that come with perimenopause and menopause. Both sessions were moderated by Samantha Skey, CEO of SHE Media. (SHE Media and Variety are owned by Penske Media Corp.)
“There is a movement that is forming and happening, because for the first time in history, women have been allowed to share the shit, instead of constantly trying to pretend that everything’s great and fantastic and wonderful when it’s not,” Zimmer said. “And I think, you know, I entered into this midlife arena last year, when I was kind of catapulted into not even knowing I was in menopause or perimenopause. I didn’t even know what the word was.”
Zimmer gradually became incensed at lack of basic information available on what is a universal process for women at a key life stage. The mystery that still exists around menopause only contributes to the emotional struggles many women face with the transition and the end of their child-bearing years.
“Menopause is actually the 366th day you don’t have a period. And I was like, I’m sorry, what? So what’s after and what’s before,” Zimmer said. “Right now it’s important is to use our platforms to share information, not only for ourselves going through it, but for the next generation, because we just have to show that when you get here, you should be prepared for this time, when I think a lot of us have not been, and that’s why there’s such an uprising of, why was this kept a secret?”
Blair spoke at a separate session that was highly emotional as she described her teenage and young adult years dealing with symptoms of multiple sclerosis that were not diagnosed until she was in her 40s. Blair aims to inspire women to push harder for answers on medical issues given the traditional institutional biases.
“I was diagnosed with relapsing limiting MS in 2018. It turned out I probably had juvenile MS as my first optical neuritis was when I was about seven, which left me with a lazy eye from nerve damage. But there were a lot of things missed my whole life,” Blair said.
The diagnosis was a relief after a lifetime of unexplained pains and fatigue that were often dismissed by doctors as “growing pains” or related to menstrual issues.
“I had CAT scans as a kid, and I had doctor visits, and I stayed in hospitals for weeks at a time,” Blair recalled. “I’d have fevers, I have pain, endless, bone crushing fatigue that I still do have. And my mom would say, why can’t you give her an MRI? And they’re like, ‘Oh, she doesn’t need it. She’s probably getting her period.’ But then a boy would come in from my class who had a headache and they gave him an MRI the first thing. Now, they’re not wrong for doing that for him, but it’s like, What? Because I appeared okay, even though I had headaches all the time.”
Blair has been vocal about her medical situation in recent years. She had no idea the power of the response that her candor would elicit.
SHE Media’s Samantha Skey, actor Constance Zimmer and writer Heidi Clements at the Flow Space Women’s Health Summit
Michael Buckner
“I just put it on my Instagram to thank people on a set that were helping me stay at my job, because I couldn’t use my hands well, I couldn’t take my clothes off. I still sometimes struggle with dystonia and speech and movement, even though I’m relapse free right now,” Blair said. “But when I did post I saw that there was a whole world that was that felt seen or a part of being seen or could relate to someone having chronic health issues. I realized that was a comfort to a lot of people. And there weren’t a lot of resources out about MS at the time. There was so much I needed to learn. I’m still learning as I live with it, but I did see that it was much bigger than me. And then then it had a point to me to sharing. It felt good. It felt good knowing people were feeling some comfort.”
Zimmer and Clements, who is a well-known voice on issues around women and aging, recently launched a podcast dubbed “Talk Fifty to Me.” Zimmer said her experience of seguing into her 50s has been contrary to the stereotype that women of a certain age tend to become invisible in a world that revolves around men and youth.
“I would say that I haven’t felt invisible. I’ve actually felt more empowered than ever before, and those are the stories that people are missing talking about because we can all choose to become invisible because we don’t have the information or the tools to use for our benefit,” Zimmer said. “But when you get those tools, everybody’s talking about menopause, HRT, or whatever you have to do to get yourself to a place where you feel full, whether it’s hormones or not, then you’re leading with your best foot forward, right? But women, even five years ago, were not given that permission to talk about this. It’s why the 50s became invisible, because there was nobody knew what the fuck was going on, and everybody thought they were crazy, and nobody would listen to them. But now people are listening.”
(Pictured top: Selma Blair and Samantha Skey)
