The unique Australian distance descriptions baffling almost EVERY overseas visitor: ‘Learn them immediately’
An Aussie man’s explanation for commonly used distance expressions has struck a chord with both locals and tourists alike.
Comedian Monty Franklin deciphered some uniquely Australian commonly used distance descriptors including ‘It’s walking distance’, ‘That’s a good drive’ and ‘It’s a bit of a mission’.
The funnyman broke down each Aussie colloquialism in a now viral TikTok video that has been viewed over 1.1 million times.
The clip is fittingly titled: ‘How distance works in Australia’.
The humorous 35-second clip sees Monty shares 11 commonly-used Aussie phrases that describe how far away something is.
‘Yeah, it’s right there,’ he said first, explaining that this equates to ‘within 300 metres’.
‘It’s walking distance,’ he listed next, claiming that means ‘within a kilometre’.
The third is ‘oh, it’s a fair walk’, with Monty saying this could be anywhere from one to three kilometres away.
Comedian Monty Franklin has deciphered some uniquely Australian commonly used distance descriptors like: ‘It’s walking distance’
‘A quick drive,’ he continued, means ‘a five to 10 minute drive’, while ‘not too far’ means a 10 to 30 minute drive.
‘Yeh, that’s a bit of a drive’, however, means 30 minutes, while a ‘decent drive’ is one to two hours in the car.
Following on from that, Monty said drives of five to 10 hours were likely to illicit the expression: ‘It’s bit of a mission’.
Then there’s: ‘”Oof, tough drive”.’
Monty explains the true meaning of this one to be ’10 to 20 hours of driving’ that will ‘usually will require a sleep stop’.
The next one was a favourite among the comments: ‘It’s a good drive though’.
Monty’s analysis of this one was that means ‘any distance, if the scenery is nice’.
The Aussie comedian shared a now viral video to his @montyfranklineofficial account which analysed the subtle language differences Australians typically use to describe how long a drive will take
And the final ominous distance descriptor? ‘You don’t want to drive that’.
This, he claims, means ‘you will die’.
The video has amassed over 108,000 likes and over 1,300 comments.
Many replies came from Australians who wholeheartedly agreed with Monty’s take on the local distance descriptions.
‘This measurement scheme is acceptable,’ replied one Australian.
‘So accurate,’ another added.
‘Mate, you need to write an Australian dictionary to gift to the world,’ another chimed in.
Monty notes that the expression ‘It’s bit of a mission’ referred to drives five to 10 hours long, while the phrase ‘Oof, tough drive’ meant an even longer drive that would likely require an overnight stay
Some of the comments honed in on the importance of additionally analysing the sound an Australian makes before the distance phrase is said, because it can subtly change the meaning. Things like: ‘yeah, nah, ah, erh and aaaah’.
‘I’m gonna need analysis of the sound uttered before the words,’ one person jokingly replied.
Other responses from Aussies added that there were a couple of distance description gems that Monty missed.
‘You forgot, “It’s just around the corner mate”,’ replied one person.
A number of comments noted that Monty’s distance descriptor analysis was actually a useful guide for any tourist who planned on visiting Australia
‘What about “a bit of a hike”? A fair distance to walk but doable,’ added another.
‘You forgot, “It’s in Woop Woop” [meaning] far away!’ suggested one reply.
‘Don’t forget the “You’ll need a packed lunch” drive,’ said another Aussie.
A number of comments noted that Monty’s analysis was actually a highly useful guide for any tourist who planned on visiting Australia.
Prospective travellers even chimed in to thank Monty for the handy tips.
‘These are good to know before my East Coast road trip!’ one person replied.
But perhaps surprisingly, the uniquely Australian expressions also resonated with people from some overseas locations who claimed that they used highly similar phrases to describe distances – albeit, without the Aussie inflection.
‘Canadian here and I feel like I understood each distance immediately,’ replied one Canuck.
‘Canada does pretty much exactly this too, right down to the “you don’t want to drive that”,’ another agreed.
There were also some US citizens that related to the Aussie distance expressions.
‘So what I’m hearing is that American Midwesterners and Aussies agree on distances,’ read one of the replies.
Monty Franklin is an Australian comedian who travels the world doing his stand-up act.
He has a series of upcoming live shows in New Zealand and Australia throughout November and December 2025, which will include stops in Sydney, Brisbane, Perth, Adelaide and Canberra.
