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MAFS 2024 Recap Final Vows: 3 Couples Recommit

We’re picking up where we left off for the second half of the Married At First Sight (MAFS) 2024 Final Vows recap — wait, I spoke too soon. We’re repeating the last five-10 minutes that we already watched in the last episode. Have we not wasted enough of our lives on MAFS?

Good news is our memories are refreshed, bad news is we have to relive this:

Mr Tarzan will see you now

Before long, we’re back at the MAFS Final Vows meeting spot for Jack and Tori and she’s ready to read out her sppech.

Straight out of the gate, Tori mentions Jack’s “perfect smile“.

money well spent

Tori says she wasn’t sure if their relationship was going to be a great “love story” or a “power struggle”, before admitting that she spent half this experiment defending Jack.

thnx for the screentime tho

Tori then changes tune, as they do, to call Jack her equal, saying he’s given her an “old-school” type of love.

“I have found the person I never want to stop making memories with,” Tori tells Jack.

Please give me a break from memories on weekends but

“You make me feel secure, loved, fulfilled.

“Although our future may be one of humidity and shiity coffee,” Tori continues.

I’m going to have to drop Lizz as a client, aren’t I

“And although I am giving up being close to a family in a city I love, for you it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to take.”

She then calls Jack her “soulmate” who she’s “falling in love” with. She thinks he’s the one!

SOMEONE CHECK HER TEMPERATURE

Jack congratulates Tori on her efforts before staring his own MAFS Final Vows.

Thank you Mr Grey

He starts talking about them in the third person so shit’s weird already.

He then addresses his many, many flaws.

“You have witnessed some regrettable decisions and poor actions on my behalf,” Jack says.

Great summary of a 12-week hellhole

Jack probably should’ve brought some repellent because he keeps waving off the flies. That or he’s nervous as fuck.

“I’m concerned that our biggest connecting factor may have been the brutal environment of the experiment,” he tells her.

Interesting. Do your nipples feel this way too?

He then calls them “teammates”.

mafs 2024 final vows recap
I believe the word you’re looking for is SOUL mate

“Not lovers” he clarifies.

“I didn’t commit myself to this process for a platonic relationship, nor a teammate.

“We are not in love so how can I commit to you and ask you to uproot your life to the Gold Coast?”

Wait what? You already asked me?

“Tori, before I leave today, I want to thank you.”

Tori’s eyelids are doing that thing she does when she tries not to strangle someone.

Don’t you fucking dare

“Thank you for carving out this amazing journey with me, and I’m sorry.”

He says sorry for letting her down and not living up to her expectations.

“Tori, I need to do what is best for me and ultimately, best for you.

“I deserve an equal. Moving forward with you is a massive risk.”

I will lose some clients, including Lizz, because she hates ya fucking guts

“And it’s a risk I’m 100% ready to take.

“Tori, I am absolutely head over heels for you and I can’t wait to fall in love.”

mafs 2024 final vows recap
You little fucker

Why am I smiling? Fuck this show. Fuck it right up the ass. Oh wait, Jack just called himself a “resilient beast” and I’m back to being desensitised to the madness.

Jack and Tori feel misunderstood by the MAFS cast but are happy together. “They can all go fuck themselves,” Tori says.

Bye!!!

Back at Skye Suites, a few more couples have clearly stayed beyond the 10am check out.

Sara thinks Tim is falling in love with her because he said he has “a thing” for her.

Thing = boner

Either way, Sara looks at Tim and can see a future.

And I see… double the reach for paid partnerships!

Now the pair are watching their MAFS wedding video and Sara sheds a few tears.

“What I wanted was in front of me the whole time. I hate that it took me a long time to see that,” says Sara.

mafs 2024 final vows recap
It’s a love story baby just say yes

Jayden and Eden also packed up shop at Skye Suites but before we could blink, it was time for their MAFS Final Vows.

They are meeting in a barn which is so beautiful, it would be great for a finale of The Bachelor — if they had the budget and viewership, that is.

Will you accept this rose?

Jayden starts and tells Eden that sometimes he feels like he’s not good enough or worthy of her. He shares that he’s never the way he feels about her with anyone else before.

Hope not!

“There is nobody else I want to be with,” Jayden tells Eden before reprimanding her for stealing his hair brush and shampoo.

mafs 2024 final vows recap
My erect turd-like man-bun and I do not appreciate it

He then tells her that even though she gets makeup on all his towels, he loves her with all his heart.

Thanks for that, fuckface

“I can see you being a great mother to all five of our children,” Jayden tells her.

“Whether they be humans or golden retrievers.”

I hope for your uterus’ sake it’s the latter

Eden starts reading her vows and very quickly starts crying thinking about their relationship history.

“I step out of this experiment knowing exactly what it is I want in a partner,” she tells him.

“And that is you.”

mafs 2024 final vows recap
Even though I will never, ever win an argument

“I can’t thank you enough for the love, kindness and appreciation you’ve shown me.

“I hope I get to experience it for a lifetime.”

So you want to marry me

Jayden goes to grab something and it’s a box. Please no, not a proposal?

OK it’s a bracelet from a brand that very clearly paid for this product placement.

Box shot

Good to see the MAFS cast have given up on buying jewellery from Temu.

Jayden literally references his brother to Eden, asking, “Were you worried I was going to do a Mitch number two?”

If it makes me as successful as Ella, sure

Alright, it’s Tim and Sara’s turn to confess their dying love for each other. (No that wasn’t a typo.)

Tim’s best man, Ben, is back. He tells Tim to listen to his heart because the worst thing that could happen will be that Sara scars him for life and he’ll never open up ever again.

For Sara it’s an easy decision but for Tim, well, his pupils are larger than usual.

mafs 2024 final vows recap
SHE CHEATED ON ME

They have arrived at what appears to be the Royal Botanic Garden in Sydney. Sara’s up first and tells Tim about the walls she put up in the beginning of this relationship.

She admits she was getting caught up in the negatives of their relationship rather than focusing on the positives.

In retrospect, rancid chicken isn’t the worst thing someone could eat

She reiterates to Tim how much she regrets lying about her ex, but says it made her put things in perspective.

“You had my back,” she tells him.

“Tim you are the most patient man.

That’s one word for it

“You challenge me and make me want to be a better person.

“I’m hoping to leave this experiment with you.

“I’m so excited to see what our future can hold together.”

In other words, it’s a yes from me

“Aww, that was really nice,” he tells her.

Tim’s turn! Uh-oh. Spicy music.

He reminds Sara how hot she is, and hot how he was for her when she first walked down the aisle.

“That excitement quickly turned to frustration,” he tells her.

mafs 2024 final vows recap
But still hot, right?

He says “fiery” is an understatement to describe her and that he felt “bulldozed” at times; like his feelings weren’t important.

He says he felt worried about her reactions and like he was walking on eggshells.

I’m gonna need you to back off

He then says he finally felt like she was proud of him at the Couples Retreat, which was sadly short-lived when he found out about her ex.

“I felt stupid for even being part of this relationship,” he tells her, saying he questioned his “masculinity and self-worth” as a result.

“I lost trust in you and in this relationship.

“But in the last few weeks, you fought for me.

“When I’m with you now I feel happy, funny and masculine.

“This is a big decision for me,” he tells her, explaining he’s been battling between his head and his heart.

“But it’s an easy decision if I go with my heart.”

He then tells her this in Spanish so they can end as they started and it’s actually a beautiful full-circle moment:

mafs 2024 final vows recap
mafs 2024 final vows recap

“Sara’s amazing and she has a great booty” he finishes.

Who knew Tim was so funny?

mafs 2024 final vows recap
Not me!

Well that’s it, you guys. Thanks for coming along this MAFS journey with me. I feel as though we all know each other better as a result of trauma-bonding and collective brain cell loss.

I will be back for the MAFS Reunion episodes, but until then, DM me on Instagram with what I should be doing with all this newfound spare time I’m about to have.

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