I didn’t think I needed a pre-nup or a joint account. Then my husband left and I realised he could take half my savings. These are the four things every woman must do before getting married: EVE SIMMONS

When most loved-up women hear the words ‘will you marry me?’ their thoughts immediately turn to vows, flowers and white lace dresses – not financial matters. ISAs and credit scores don’t exactly go hand-in-hand with romance.

Not me. Should my partner of three-and-a-half years ever pop the question, my mind would turn to the balance of his savings account.

Not because I’m with him for his money. But I’ve learned the financial risks of marriage the hard way and refuse to make the same mistakes again.

Four years ago, aged 30, I married my then-partner of nine years in a lavish ceremony that cost almost £50,000.

But as I’ve told before in these pages, my happy ever after ended after six months, when my husband decided out of the blue that he wanted to split up.

Within another six months, I was forced to sell my home, say goodbye to my mad but adorable border terrier and, most unfairly, lose a significant sum of cash that my mother had gifted us.

Worse still, an email from my ex’s solicitor informed me he could get his hands on half of my pension, savings and investments should I wish to fight him for my mother’s money via the family court. And he was right.

Ever since, I’ve endeavoured to drill financial literacy into the minds of young couples, including in my book, What She Did Next.

Protecting women’s cash is particularly important, given that divorced women typically end up far worse off than divorced men. Thankfully, you can protect yourself by asking your spouse a series of specific questions before walking down the aisle.

‘Discussing this at the best of times saves a lot of agony at the worst of times,’ says Sandra Davis, top divorce lawyer and partner at Mishcon de Reya. Here are the four questions every woman should ask their other half before they get married…

How much are you worth?

If your other half has considerably more money than you, the risk of him coming after your financial assets in case of divorce is low. A judge is more likely to rule that he must offer you a portion of his wealth.

But if you’re the better-off partner, consider asking a solicitor to help you draw up a contract that outlines how assets would be split in the case of a divorce. I was the breadwinner for most of our relationship and had £20,000 more cash in savings. Had he summoned me to court, I may have been forced to split it with him.

Can we open a joint account?

Nearly half of today’s young adults think joint bank accounts are a sexist tool, according to a poll by online financial advisor Moneyfarm. I believe the opposite is true. A joint account – into which both parties make deposits for bills, food and other shared expenses – means both of you will know exactly how much it costs to run your life together.

While my husband and I had a joint account for groceries, the money we both contributed for bills, mortgage and the refurbishment of our house was deposited into his account. This meant, when we split and I asked for my share back, he could claim it was all gone. I knew this couldn’t be the case – but had no proof.

How about a pre-nup?

If I’d had a pre-nup – or ‘pre-marriage contract’ as some solicitors call it – it’s likely at least half of the lump sum my mother gifted us would have come back to me.

It may sound awkward to bring up but experts advise there are palatable ways to ask for one. ‘It can be helpful to direct language at the specific asset you want to protect,’ says Ms Davis. ‘Perhaps say you’d like a contract to protect a pot of inheritance, or a business you worked really hard for.’

You may think pre-nups are only for the wealthy, but experts say anyone with savings totalling significantly more than £8,000 (it costs roughly £5,000-£8,000 for a pre-nup), could benefit.

The claim that pre-nups aren’t ‘legally binding’ in the UK is a myth, Davis adds. ‘As long as basic conditions are met, it is likely to be upheld.’

What paternity leave could you take?

Of the 1.4 million employers in the UK, just 165 offer shared parental leave – whereby employers pay dads their full salary for up to 20 weeks post birth. If your partner is lucky enough to work for one of them – and you want to share the time off work – make it known before you wed.

A few weeks after our wedding my husband suggested I swap the job in journalism that I love for a low-stakes, part-remote position in marketing. It would make it easier for me to spend time at home when we had children, he said. He, meanwhile, was hunting for the next big leap in his career.

I was shocked, having assumed he appreciated my passion for work and intention to continue climbing the career ladder.

‘Is your partner supportive of your desire to go back to work soon after you have a baby?’ asks Davis. ‘Would they be willing to pick up slack at home if you wish to pursue a career goal?’

A frank discussion doesn’t cost you anything. Divorce does.

What She Did Next: What to Do When the Life you Planned is F**ked Up, by Eve Simmons, is out now.