How Ryan Papenhuyzen found peace and freedom after retiring from rugby league
It was Forrest Gump who said that life was like a box of chocolates. Ryan Papenhuyzen prefers a different analogy.
“Golf’s just like the game of life, I reckon,” he says.
“You go through your journey of bad shots, but if you don’t respond to it well, then it’s going to be two bad shots, and it just compounds. It’s four hours of pretty much living out what I know life to be at the moment at 28 years old.”
This time last year, Papenhuyzen was in the thick of grand final week, preparing for what would be his last game of rugby league in the decider against the Brisbane Broncos.
Today, the former Melbourne Storm fullback, a grand final winner and Clive Churchill Medallist in 2020, is standing on the first tee box at Wollongong Golf Club.
And he’s keen to set the record straight.
Yes, Papenhuyzen is definitely retired. Yes, he turned down a million-dollar contract with the Storm at the peak of his powers to do things like play golf – he’s playing off a handicap of 11 on this day – and work out what makes him happy.
No, he has no plans to play another minute of footy.
No, he is not a rugby union convert in waiting (and never was).
“No regrets,” Papenhuyzen says. “I learned everything I needed to learn out of rugby league.
“I achieved success quite early on. Then had all the pitfalls of injuries. I feel like I lived out both ends of the spectrum. As the year’s gone, I just have no drive or want to get back in that arena.”
A sure sign Papenhuyzen has found other hobbies in his 12 months out of the game is that he knows his 10-digit Golf ID number off by heart when asked for it at the pro shop.
The golf course was Papenhuyzen’s choice of setting for an interview. The coastal track overlooks WIN Stadium, the home of the St George Illawarra Dragons, and the sand of Wollongong City Beach.
Why Wollongong and not Sydney or Melbourne? Turns out Papenhuyzen is staying with his girlfriend’s family in nearby Bulli.
“What is Ryan Papenhuyzen doing here?” an onlooker from the next fairway can be heard asking.
As the Roosters and Knights gear up for Sunday’s decider, one of the most exciting rugby league players of his generation is at peace with his decision to walk away from the game. Many assumed he would pivot to Japanese rugby or sign with R360, before the rebel competition’s demise.
Instead, he has spent his spare time caddying for Australian golfer Daniel Gale and coaching a handful of clients on the art of mental performance.
Explaining that decision has not been as straightforward as he expected.
“People just don’t believe it,” Papenhuyzen says. “Maybe it’s the concept of walking away from a million dollars. [People think] why would you give that money up? There’s probably a little bit of disbelief with that.
“It all makes sense in my head. When I hear people are surprised about it, it just makes me think about the illusion [people see] with professional sport.
“People will work all week, and they’ll sit and watch the footy, and it’s their joy of the week. A lot of people wish that they could be in that position. But there are things that come with it. You’re putting your body through probably the hardest thing you’ll ever go through physically. You’re tied to certain things. You lose your anonymity. You’ve got someone watching you. You go out in public and people want to talk to you.
“It’ll sound really ungrateful, but it’s more about understanding what comes with it. Just because you’re good at it doesn’t mean you need to do it. Find something that aligns more to how you want to live your life.
“It just wasn’t serving its purpose like it did to start with.”
Papenhuyzen hits a solid golf ball. His pre-shot routine is clearly that of a professional athlete, but he is not obsessed with getting his handicap down. His goal today is to make good decisions on the course.
“You’ve got to trick yourself that you’re the best player ever,” he says.
He belts a drive on the par-five 18th, knocks his second close to the green and chips to less than a metre before tapping in for birdie. He walks off with 29 Stableford points, then settles in with an almond latte at the café behind the 18th green.
Does he miss grand final week, having been involved in three (2020, 2024 and 2025)?
“Definitely … seeing the guys play and the arena and the crowds,” he says. “But then I just think back to what it takes to actually get there. You think of how sore you are leading into finals. I don’t miss that.”
Melbourne, the club he scored 77 tries for in 113 matches across seven seasons from 2019 to 2025, is not featuring at Accor Stadium on Sunday.
It is an oddity for a club synonymous with September success. A very un-Storm-like season ended with a 10th-place finish.
Was it difficult to watch from the outside?
“For the ego, no, it wasn’t hard,” Papenhuyzen says. “It was hard watching the first game though, knowing that they won 52-4 against Parra. You start to wonder if you’re the problem.
“They went on that losing streak, missed finals … and the ego makes you want to think it’s you. But then you obviously see who else was missing from the side.
“They’ll have to look within. I think there might have been a few things brewing in the years leading up, and it happened to be highlighted this year.
“As much as it probably felt good that they missed the finals – because I felt like I wasn’t missing out on anything – it’s bad because you know how hard the boys work.
“I can’t quite pinpoint [what went wrong]. The freedom the boys played with in the last few rounds, knowing they couldn’t make finals, I think that might be something that they look at. It’s the same concept as golf. When you play with freedom, and you’ve got a shit score on the front, you usually have a good back nine.”
The catalyst for Papenhuyzen’s retirement – or, in his mind at the time, at least a year away – was a frightening concussion he suffered in the final round of the regular season.
Papenhuyzen wondered whether the pain would ever go away. It did, and he played on through the finals, culminating in a 26-22 defeat to Brisbane on a night dominated by an electric Reece Walsh.
“When I walked out of the sheds, I was just rattled,” he says. “That [concussion] was scary. It felt like a bad trip, and I was quite emotional. I didn’t want to experience that feeling again.”
Telling his teammates was hard. But his way of coping was to avoid almost everyone. Text messages weren’t returned for weeks, something he admits he could have handled better.
“I didn’t really speak to Bellyache [coach Craig Bellamy], to be honest. He gave me a call, but I went into hiding,” Papenhuyzen says.
“I just didn’t want to face anything, really. I just wanted people to understand where my decision was from. But I thought the best thing for that was just hiding in a hole. Trying to explain it to people and seeing people’s eyes glaze over and not understand why you’d walk away from something like that … I just didn’t want to even bother talking to people.
“If I do have kids, and they’re doing something that they are good at, but they don’t enjoy it, how am I meant to stand there and tell them to walk away and pursue something they enjoy … if I’m not going to do it myself?”
All is good now. Papenhuyzen has landed a gig with Channel Seven for the Rugby League World Cup, starting next month. He is enjoying the freedom of not being locked into an NRL contract. Running, lifting weights and reading books keeps him busy, as he maintains as open mind on what the future holds.
And, hopefully, not being asked for the umpteenth time when he is going to lace up the boots again.
“It comes with its challenges of not having certainty around what I’m doing,” Papenhuyzen says. “But at the same time that flexibility and not being tied to anything is a nice luxury to have.”
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Tom Decent is the chief sports writer for The Sydney Morning Herald.Connect via X or email.