Footy star opens up about the religious psychosis that landed him in a treatment facility: ‘I thought I was supposed to save the world’

Taylan May has opened up about the religious psychosis had to overcome in order to resurrect his NRL career, admitting he was ‘thinking I was someone I wasn’t’.

Taylan May faced multiple off-field controversies during his NRL career, including being found guilty of assaulting a teenage footy fan in 2021, which led to a two-match suspension that was controversially delayed. 

He was also fined for breaching the league’s code of conduct. May spent 436 days out of the NRL while facing domestic violence charges that were eventually withdrawn, battling mental demons and trying to win his private fight to return to top-flight rugby league. 

But it was a long journey back, as he revealed on the Mayday podcast with his brother and Wests Tigers teammate Terrell, opening up on his time in a mental health treatment facility and the nightmare battles he had at his lowest ebb.

That included thinking he had become a kind of messiah or messenger of God sent to save the world. 

‘I felt like I needed to check myself in, obviously,’ May said of his stint receiving professional treatment. 

‘I saw how much it affected the family. Obviously I was saying some outrageous things and thinking I was someone I wasn’t.

‘I full believed I was this person who was supposed to go save the world. I got stuck in a religious psychosis. I read the whole New Testament [of the Bible] in a week.’

That wasn’t the only delusion or dissociation that Taylan was battling with.

When he checked into the treatment facility, he revealed that he didn’t know where he was and at times thought he was back at footy training. 

‘I remember at the start of the psych ward, like before you go in, introductions, they ask you all these questions,’ he said.

‘I full thought they were on my team. I didn’t realise they were just ticking off the markers, trying to figure out where to put me.’

It all helped May put things into perspective and realise just how tolerant his loved ones had been, staying by his side even during his scary dissociative states. 

‘That taught me how close our family actually is, even though they don’t show it … There was one of the times I remember it was me, dad and my wife, I preached to them for like two days straight,’ he said. 

‘That moment in that room there was something I can’t explain. It was something I will cherish forever, even though I was out of it.’

Exiting the treatment clinic was not the end of Taylan’s battle, though – it was just the beginning.

‘I knew I could get back and I knew the talent that I had, and I didn’t want to waste it,’ he said.

‘I knew what it took to get back and I knew how hard it was.’

Despite fighting hard, training with his brothers and knowing what was required of him, Taylan still battled mental demons.

‘I kept getting pulled back occasionally,’ he said.

‘I was training really hard, I thought, stuff this.

‘It got to a point, I think four months in … where I just hit a slump.

‘I wouldn’t even go outside my room.

‘It was weird, it was like I was back down in lockdown when I was in the psych ward.

‘I wouldn’t leave my room, I wouldn’t want to go for a walk, but I get like that heaps, where I don’t want to see people, I’m even like that now.

‘It’s like my safe haven, the room … but it’s a bad habit, because it puts you in your own head – a lot.’

But with the right treatment and support May was able to exit his room and his own head to lock down and earn his place back at the NRL table.

On June 10, Wests Tigers announced they had signed the former Penrith flyer on a train and trial agreement for the rest of the 2025 season.

Even then, May had lingering doubts and could only think about how sore his body was from training ahead of his return.

‘I was like complaining to my wife, “How am I going to do this?”

‘That [NSW] Cup game [the week before], it took it out of me.

‘How am I going to get my body to feel decent to play? That was my main thought.’

But May did get through that match, finishing with a try and two try assists as he helped the Tigers on their way to a tense 21-20 victory over the Gold Coast Titans.

Taylan said his time away from the game taught him resilience and discipline, and how much of both was required to climb the mountain and reach the NRL for a second time.

‘It’s taught me to never give up,’ he said.

‘Always believe in yourself, because at the end of the day it is always going to be yourself.

‘You’ve got to get up, no matter how sore you are, there’s no excuses. No matter what, you’ve got to turn up and do your job for the boys.’