I thought what my girlfriend did to me in bed was normal… but friends recoiled in disgust when they heard details of my ‘domination’ kink: DEAR JANE

Dear Jane,

I’ve had the same group of friends since college.

These are guys that I’ve lived with, traveled with and have more or less spent the better part of a decade with – so we know everything about each other.

And when I started dating a new girl a few months ago, they naturally wanted to hear everything about her.

Of course, the conversation veered into classic ‘locker room talk,’ if you will. I’m not proud of it, but I indulged their curiosity about our sex life.

But when I confessed that I like when she ‘dominates’ me in the bedroom, they recoiled in disgust.

I thought it was totally normal to reverse the roles in bed, but apparently, I was wrong.

My friends were in utter disbelief that I would do something so ‘unmanly’ and ’emasculating.’ They even laughed at me.

Now I’m uncomfortable after being so forthcoming about the details of my dating life with them, and I’m feeling self-conscious about what I do behind closed doors. Not to mention, introducing them to my girlfriend will be so awkward.

Sincerely,

Manning Up

Dear Manning Up,

Your bedroom proclivity is nobody’s business but your own – and you knew you made a mistake in revealing it.

But as much as I hope that you learn a lesson from this, know that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be dominated in bed.

In fact, you’re quite right that we often want to reverse the roles. 

I know many very successful, high-powered women in the workforce who don’t want to have to make a single decision in the bedroom and, instead, want to be told what to do. 

And it’s not at all unusual for men with similar decision-making jobs to want to finally allow their submissive side out in the bedroom.

I applaud you for your experimentation, and your comfort in sharing this with your girlfriend – neither of you should care what anyone else thinks.

Perhaps you should ask yourself why your friends recoiled in disgust: what is it that they are repressing, and why do they feel so strongly about it?

I would refrain from telling them anything else about your sex life, and if it comes up again, try and laugh it off. 

If they don’t drop it, perhaps you can suggest they ought to try it themselves – after all, it sounds like they may be protesting a little too much.