Media personality Laura Henshaw has spoken out on Instagram after coming across a clip from a podcast which she felt promoted toxic masculinity.
On Monday night, the podcaster and KIC co-founder took to her Instagram Stories to slam a Reel by The Pocket with Chris Griffin — an educational podcast which platforms “conversations about life”.
What did the clip say?
In the clip from The Pocket with Chris Griffin podcast — which you can watch for yourself below — host Chris Griffin describes why he would not want his female partner to work if she didn’t want to.
“I don’t want my partner working unless she wants to work. If you feel the need to go and work to make money, and then you come home and you’re complaining about your day when we don’t need you to make money, and I ask you ‘how was your day today, babe?’ I want your eyes to light up with excitement with whatever the fuck it was,” he said.
Instead, he’d be open to her not working so his home can be filled with a sense of “calm”, “harmony”, “peace” and “love that a man that’s got a busy life, that’s chasing his dreams needs when he’s trying to wind down.”
“I don’t think the girl needs to go through challenge, pain and hardship to be an amazing girl. I think she can fill her days with passion-filled things and still be amazing,” he said.
On the surface, the message doesn’t seem too bad. He’s not straight up telling his hypothetical missus that she can’t work, he’s giving her the choice. That, paired with the swelling motivational music, makes the clip feel profound and kindhearted.
However, without the perceived authenticity and motivational soundtrack, this video could be seen as an incredibly regressive take which further perpetuates the idea that a man’s aspirations, hardships and challenges are more worthwhile than a woman’s and that her purpose is ultimately to serve him.
How did Laura respond to this clip?
When Laura saw this video, she felt that it was a dangerous perspective to be sharing with an impressionable audience.
“It is damaging because it is misogyny tied up in a bow, disguised as being a ‘loving’ partner,” Laura claimed to PEDESTRIAN.TV.
“It sends such a terrifying message to the younger generation who are influenced by this type of content.
“I was watching a snippet of an interview this morning on the Should I Delete That podcast, which was an interview with Laura Bates, who is a feminist activist and author who has done a lot of work in this space. She shared that if you set up a TikTok account in the name of a teenage boy, it takes on average 17 minutes before the first piece of extreme misogyny will be promoted to your feed.
“That is terrifying.”
Taking to her Instagram Stories, Laura decided to share the clip alongside her own commentary.
“As women, we do not exist to ‘serve’ our partners. To live out days so we can be in a ‘good’ mood for them,” she wrote on Instagram.
Laura added that she felt that all people should be encouraged to work towards not being financially dependent within a relationship, to be empowered to establish a career so they can develop skills to support themselves and build up superannuation.
“It’s fucking terrifying and this content is so backwards,” she continued to claim.
“Also, if you choose not to work, that’s your choice. No judgement. What is important is that you are empowered with the information to understand the decision you are making.”
While Laura admits she was hesitant to share the clip on her Stories (above), she felt that it was for the greater good.
“I thought a lot about if I should share the video as I knew it would increase the reach of what I feel is a really toxic video and message,” Laura explained to P.TV.
“I also knew in sharing it we could start a conversation and help educate people.”
Chris Griffin defends his podcast: ‘I’m not here to please everyone’
On Tuesday, Chris responded to Laura’s take by sharing more of his thought process.
“The key word is wants. I believe that if money isn’t a stressor, then work should be about purpose and joy, not obligation and survival,” he wrote in a comment.
“This isn’t about control. It’s about choice. If she wants to chase a career, I’ll back her 100 per cent. If she wants to stay home, I’ll support that too. That’s what freedom in a relationship should look like.”
Chris continued respectfully outlining his position, stating that he didn’t believe it was fair to “label traditional masculine values as ‘toxic’”.
“Wanting to provide, protect and lead with strength doesn’t make a man toxic. It makes him grounded in his role. What is toxic is weakness masked as masculinity… insecurity, control and emotional suppression. That’s not what I stand for,” Chris continued.
Chris stated that he believes that there are “too many weak men out there”. He states that he believes toxic femininity is created by women not feeling safe, who are then “forced to lean out of their natural feminine and into survival mode”.
“Men and women are equal, absolutely. But we are not the same. Pretending we strips away our natural strengths and creates confusion instead of connection. I respect your view, I just don’t share it.”
While Chris was respectful with his reply, Laura was disappointed because it seemed like he missed the point.
“As I shared on my stories, I was really disappointed,” she told P.TV.
“It is so important that people with a platform take responsibility for the impact they are having on their community and audience, and always lean into learning and doing better.
“Sometimes we make mistakes, and that is okay (we are all human), but learning and growing from them is incredibly important.”
While Chris denied that his video was misogynistic, for Laura, the conversation drove home how important it was to talk about the wider impacts of misogyny on society in general.
“We need to continue to have this conversation and speak about the terrifying implications of misogyny,” she explained to PTV.
“It is an uncomfortable conversation, but the implications include domestic violence (we are in a crisis in Australia), financial abuse, and our fastest growing group of homeless people in Australia being women over 55 is why we need to continue calling this out and educating people on the topic.”
Following Laura’s IG Stories, fellow KIC co-founder Steph Claire Smith weighed in.
“Genuinely so disappointed,” she wrote, sharing Laura’s post to her own IG Stories.
“I’ve been on Chris’ podcast before and felt genuinely perplexed to how ‘wise’ he considered himself as someone in their young 20s. To be honest, I thought ‘good on him’. I remember having that confidence and naivety. But this video, this conversation, is incredibly damaging,” she claimed.
Hopefully, Chris takes the backlash as an opportunity to consider why this messaging can be harmful for women and regressive in nature.
PEDESTRIAN.TV has reached out to Chris Griffin for comment.
