RIATH AL-SAMARRAI: ‘Not bothered’ Cole Palmer may be too cool for school but here’s why he should follow Harry Kane’s example – and how he may have blown it with detail-obsessed Thomas Tuchel

Here’s a niche question for British readers: have you heard of Chase McLaughlin or Evan McPherson? What about Harrison Butker, Trey Smack or Jason Myers? One version of the answer is that they’re who Harry Kane wishes to be when he grows up.

A little more detail is probably necessary here, because with the exception of Myers, they’re in the top four for field goals in the early weeks of the NFL season.

I’ve thrown Myers in there for a simple reason – his team is the Seattle Seahawks and that means he is the most recent kicker to win a Super Bowl. Of Seattle’s 29 points against the New England Patriots in that match, Myers kicked 17, including five field goals – a record.

But he wasn’t named MVP. That isn’t the kicker’s place in the American Football food chain – only three specialist kickers exist among the 387 players in the NFL hall of fame. They’re dedicated and well-paid as game-changers, but their life is one for the shadows. 

Across his 12 years in the NFL, it is estimated Myers has spent around three hours on the pitch and 170 hours waiting for his six-second cameos on the sidelines, not counting the ad breaks.

So who dreams of being a Myers? Kane does. And as he said this week, he has spent time mapping out how that pathway to kicking could work, comprising a strategically placed spell in Major League Soccer and up to a year of graft to understand a different ball. Only then might he put himself forward for consideration.

The kicker’s union might see arrogance in that; I see humility, because we know what kind of person Kane is. We also know that voting closes on the Ballon d’Or next week and if there’s any sense left in football, Kane will win it, the main character of the main game, but a man who will always see himself as a cog. As one of the guys. Never above anything; not too big to kick his heels between kicking balls.

All of which is a very long way of asking: why can’t Cole Palmer be more like Harry Kane?

I love Palmer as a player, because who doesn’t? I like him as a person, too, or as much as any of us can without knowing him up close. 

His irreverence is part of his charm and brand – he trademarked the Cold Palmer schtick. Too cold to buckle under pressure, too cool for school, and no one’s idea of a malign influence.

But you have to wonder if he committed a significant cock-up by withdrawing from the current England camp.

We should take Palmer at his word that he’s legitimately injured, with that being a muscular issue, but there’s no one I’ve spoken to in or around Chelsea who see it as anything serious.

It’s said to be minor and most would expect him to start against Bournemouth on Chelsea’s resumption of Premier League fixtures on October 10, just as he started against Fulham, Brighton, Arsenal, Hull and Brentford in the last game before the break. Luton in the Carabao Cup? He started that one as well and scored a couple off the bench against Leeds.

Palmer’s early-season form has been excellent and so has his availability – he played all but 52 minutes of Chelsea’s fixtures to date. Had he shown the same last season, Thomas Tuchel surely would have taken him to the World Cup.

One instinct is to say it’s unfortunate that a niggle nudged Palmer off the wave just as he was recalled for England. Another is to query if he lacks a little sense. A little humility. Because why wouldn’t he go with the squad anyway? Why not show face as a non-playing member of the group, even if it was only for a few days?

That might seem trivial but it isn’t. This fortnight counts for half of the time Tuchel has across the entirety of the season and the first gathering since the World Cup. It’s the get-together that spelled out how they will move on from that semi-final, how this next chapter must be committed to finding leaders who don’t retreat under pressure. 

For Tuchel, this one was always going to be about knowing who is with him, who is invested, who can be relied upon and who, crucially, buys into his demand for ‘brotherhood’.

In short, it’s a room you desperately want to be in if you have a point to prove to Tuchel, because he watches everything. And not just the football.

I remember writing in this space two years ago about the kind of details he studies – he looks to see who leaves a dirty plate for the dinner crew to clear away after lunch. He watches to see who skims the corner on a recovery run and who is too big to have a respectful chat with lower-ranking members of staff. It irritates and consumes him.

This was all spelled out in a surreal video he filmed alongside an Indian health guru, shortly after his sacking from Chelsea, when he was explaining how exhausting it is to be Thomas Tuchel. 

If any player saw the clip, let alone those who have worked with the man, they would know these little details never escape his glare and he applies meaning to it all, disproportionate or otherwise. That’s his way.

When Jude Bellingham was thrown into exile, we know it wasn’t about his touch or vision. And we can reasonably guess, also, that when Palmer gave an interview in pre-season, reflecting on his snub from the World Cup the contents may have raised an eyebrow from the manager who left him out.

‘I’m just looking forward to the season with Chelsea, and to be honest, I’m not too bothered about that,’ said Palmer. ‘My summer was great. I had like seven weeks off or something, which I’ve never really had. It was good. I went on holiday with my family and that.’

Asked about the games he watched on television, he admitted falling asleep at half-time of the Mexico win. He’s a cool guy, that Palmer. Every bit as cool as Tuchel is intense.

But there’s a difference between cool and wise. And there’s a difference between being a great player in a team and the kind who knows the value of being there, even when you’re not playing. Kane, for one.

There was never any chance of him being fit to play Brazil or Belgium under Gareth Southgate in March 2024 but he turned up anyway. He was in the room. Same went for Bellingham a year earlier – he was ruled out of qualifiers against Malta and Macedonia but demonstrated his commitment by reporting for duty.

Point is, it’s one thing to kick your heels and another to kick yourself. Palmer ought to spend some time studying the distinction.