Tenant’s fury over disgruntled neighbour’s ‘passive aggressive’ note over ‘normal’ act: ‘Super frustrating’
The rise in apartment living means that being in close quarters with other people – and the noises they make – is part of the arrangement.
But when one tenant recently found themselves on the receiving end of a note from an irate neighbour complaining about noise, opinions were divided over what is and isn’t reasonable.
A renter recently took to Reddit to post a picture of the ‘super passive aggressive’ note they had just discovered taped to their front door.
The note read: ‘I asked to please stop your stomping, and it seems the message did not come across to you. So I ask again to respect your neighbours and be conscious of your actions.’
The tenant explained that the note arrived on their door just hours after they received a ‘formal complaint’ from their landlord that same morning.
‘My roommate was home for only an hour and said he may have made some noise when taking off [his boots].’
‘In less than an hour we got this stuck to our door. It’s the second noise complaint note we’ve received in the middle of the day,’ they added.
The tenant explained that they live in an older apartment block and that noise tends to travel easily between apartments.
An apartment resident came home to find this ‘passive aggressive’ note taped to their door. The note came only hours after their landlord had sent them a formal noise complaint
Accordingly, the renter explained that they and their housemate were conscious of noise – but that they were also not doing any excessive movement or activities in their apartment outside of walking, sleeping, using devices and cooking.
‘Now it feels like I can’t even walk around my apartment anymore,’ the renter added.
‘I totally get noise can be annoying – but in the middle of the day?’
The renter said the whole ordeal was ‘super frustrating’ and that they have now even resorted to adjusting their behaviour at home.
‘I’ve literally started tiptoeing around and we have lots of rugs in the living room and carpets in our bedrooms. I don’t know how much more we can even do to reduce the noise.’
Venting their frustration, the renter called out for any suggestions or advice on how to best ‘deal with this situation’.
The topic quickly lit up with hundreds of replies – many of whom felt the renter had already gone above and beyond to be a considerate neighbour.
‘Nobody has to relearn how to walk in order to live in an apartment,’ read one response. ‘Rugs, soft shoes and not throwing your boots around are reasonable adjustments to make.’
Many responses to the online discussion post felt the neighbour’s noise complaint was unreasonable, and that some noise was to be expected in apartment living
‘Walk normally around your apartment. They can’t expect silence, especially in the middle of the day. They’ll get over it.’
Another said: ‘It’s really not reasonable to expect someone above you to make no noise at all, especially during daytime hours. If someone is banging on the floor at 2am that’s a different story.’
‘If you’re being a normal human walking around in your apartment during non-quiet hours, they don’t have a leg to stand on.’
Several replies pointed out that some amount of noise from neighbours was frankly part and parcel of apartment life.
‘The amount of people who seem to move into apartment buildings expecting complete silence 24/7 is mind-boggling,’ one person replied.
Another agreed: ‘I’m convinced that the majority of noise complaints in apartments are from people who expect to never hear others. That’s not a realistic expectation.’
Several apartment renters shared anecdotes of their own experiences with noise made by neighbours – but most accepted that these sounds, particularly during the daytime, were simply something that they had to adjust to.
Many also said they would never even consider making a complaint about everyday noise that occurred at a normal volume during the day.
‘I hear my upstairs neighbours walk all the time. Sometimes it does sound ridiculous, like how can you possibly walk that hard? But, realistically, they aren’t doing anything wrong and I would never complain unless it was actively disturbing our sleep,’ one person shared.
‘My upstairs neighbour would drop her boots. When the heel would strike the hardboard just right, it was crazy loud. But I didn’t write unhinged notes about it,’ another added.
‘I’m a downstairs neighbour and I can hear every step my upstairs neighbour takes, and any time he drops or tosses anything on the floor… I don’t love it, but I don’t blame him at all. He’s allowed to WALK in his home! I think your neighbour is probably out of line and needs to adjust their expectations and chill out.’
Although most people felt the renter was within their rights to enjoy reasonable use of their apartment during normal waking hours – without fear of noise complaints from a neighbour – several did suggest that they invest in rugs, soft slippers to wear inside and other considerate acts like not dropping items on the floor.
Apartment residents chimed in to the discussion, confirming that while they did quite often hear the sound of neighbours walking around upstairs, they accepted that it wasn’t done with malice and was part and parcel of apartment living
One person even went so far as to say that being a considerate neighbour in an apartment block isn’t given enough attention.
‘The amount of people who move into apartment buildings forgetting that they are now a part of a community and have to adjust their behaviour for living in a society is mind-boggling,’ they explained.
‘If I’m coming home late at night, I don’t stomp up the stairs and start a load of laundry. If I’m up at 7am on a Sunday, I don’t start vacuuming.
Join the discussion
How much noise is too much in apartment living and who should compromise¿the renter or the neighbour?
‘I don’t owe my neighbours total silence but I do owe them civility.’
The majority of replies to the Reddit discussion felt that confronting the neighbour in person or even writing a note in reply would potentially make the situation more hostile – and make for an uncomfortable living environment.
However, several people instead suggested that the note should be raised with the building manager or real estate agent so that they were aware of the neighbour’s vigilante behaviour- and to ensure there’s a formal paper trail in case the neighbour continues to issue frivolous complaints.
‘I’d escalate this by sending in a formal complaint of my own against my neighbour being hostile and preventing me from enjoying the use of my home. They don’t actually have the right to complain about [reasonable] noise during the day,’ one suggested.
