This ADHD drug killed my libido, kept me up at night and made me anxious. Women say it’s a game-changer – but I’ll never touch it again: JANA HOCKING

ADHD is a curious beast.

While ADHD gives me an adventurous streak, it also brings some unique challenges -especially when it comes to love, commitment and sex. 

Most of the time, I consider it a superpower. My constant hunt for dopamine has helped me enormously in my career.

I thrive on the adrenaline of live TV and radio, which probably explains my unfiltered columns – pieces a more cautious writer might think twice about publishing. 

I’ll happily share every salacious detail of a raucous love affair or some new sexual discovery, and the thrill I get when I hit send on a particularly cheeky column is something I wish could be bottled and sold.

That same impulsive streak has led me to book a flight to Paris for the summer and, on a whim, drive solo to the wildest small town in Texas. 

My ADHD has gifted me a colourful and energetic life, and if someone offered to take it away tomorrow, I wouldn’t let them.

It will come as no surprise that my appetite for adventure naturally follows me into the bedroom.

However, there’s a less charming side to this constant hunger for stimulation. I call it ‘pretty bird syndrome’.

You know when you’re chatting away to someone, only to spot a pretty bird flying by and suddenly lose your entire train of thought?

‘Oooh, pretty bird!’

Men may know it better as ‘red Ferrari syndrome’.

You’re temporarily distracted by something lovely that has flashed before your eyes. Now imagine that happening in your dating life.

For the past ten years, I’ve really struggled with the idea of being tied down to one person. Whenever I begin to have ‘the chat’ with someone, I get angsty. I start to feel suffocated and suddenly notice all the other pretty birds around me.

But wait… just this person? Forever?

No more pretty birds?

It probably explains why I’m so drawn to emotionally unavailable men. Their unpredictability feeds my constant need for dopamine and keeps me chasing the next hit.

And because I’ve chosen to raw-dog my way through ADHD – yes, I remain unmedicated – pretty bird syndrome has proved a particularly tough habit to break.

And I’m far from the only one.

Researchers have found that ADHD can make our romantic lives more than a little colourful. One study of almost 1,400 people found women with ADHD reported more sexual partners and more infidelity, with the researchers pointing to impulsivity as one possible explanation.

Another study that followed people diagnosed with ADHD in childhood found they went on to have more casual sex and more sexual partners as young adults.

Then there’s the rather confronting research into how our relationships tend to fare. One population study found older adults with ADHD had around three times the odds of being divorced or never married.

Three times!

If ‘pretty bird syndrome’ ever needed a celebrity ambassador, Paris Hilton (who describes ADHD as her superpower and was engaged multiple times) would be a shoo-in. 

Suddenly, my pretty bird syndrome feels like something researchers should consider adding to the official list of symptoms.

Of course, ADHD doesn’t force anyone to cheat. We still possess free will and a working knowledge of right and wrong.

However, I’m mortified to admit that when I was undiagnosed in my twenties, I was no angel and definitely strayed more than once. 

When your brain lights up for novelty and struggles with impulse control, the sudden appearance of a shiny new person can feel particularly intoxicating. Throw in a mixed university dorm, plenty of booze, and temptation was everywhere.

It was the best of times and the most hedonistic of times.

Thankfully, I grew up and discovered that the fallout from cheating is very real. People got hurt, and I discovered the guilt lasts far longer than the dopamine hit.

Eventually, I decided to stop promising commitment when I wasn’t sure I could deliver it. I would remain single until I found someone capable of holding my attention without me constantly scanning the horizon for the next pretty bird.

At one point, I did wonder whether medication might help quieten that restless part of my brain.

I went on dexamphetamine – commonly known as ‘dexies’ – but sadly, I hated the side effects. My libido disappeared overnight and my anxiety went through the roof. I also barely slept.

My doctor assured me these effects can settle while the body adjusts, but I happen to quite like who I am without medication. It wasn’t for me, but I knew I just couldn’t keep treating sexual partners like dopamine hits and straying whenever a pretty bird flew by. 

So I’ve had to become better at recognising what my brain is doing.

It’s a deeply personal choice and probably not one I’d advise anyone to copy.

These days, I’m far more aware of my pretty bird tendencies. I can usually tell the difference between genuine incompatibility and my brain getting restless because the first flush of excitement has worn off.

At 41, I do want to settle down, but I’m now well aware that I’ll need a relationship with some adventure built into it, because endless routine has never been my natural habitat.

After a lifetime spent chasing dopamine, choosing one man for good will be my wildest adventure yet.

Challenge accepted.