Heterosexual father beat up his gay best friend because he had been telling friends that they were enjoying an extra-marital affair

A heterosexual father of one beat up his gay best friend in a fit of rage after discovering the victim had been telling friends he was having an ex-marital fling with him, a court has heard. 

Pub chef Thomas Roche, 29, punched married teacher Neil Carr three times in the face during a violent face-to face confrontation after being told Mr Carr, who is almost twice Roche’s age, had developed ‘feelings’ for him.

Police who arrived at Mr Carr’s apartment last July found Roche stood outside drunk, slurring his words and flailing his arms around.  He carried on drinking – even when told by officers to stop – before knocking over and smashing a bottle of wine.

When quizzed, Roche said he did not want his sexuality ‘tarnished’ around their small tight village in Hale, near Liverpool and said he had only gone to tell Mr Carr to ‘pack it in’ and stop gossiping about him. 

When asked why he thought Mr Carr would accuse him of assault, he said: ‘I think that he is quite jealous, I do not know what of.

‘I assume that he wanted me to be with him. It’s not me. I like women. He’s just a friend.’

Mr Carr, who is in his 50s, suffered red marks to his cheek area following the attack.

He later insisted he had been having a ‘casual relationship’ with Roche for three years.

At Warrington Magistrates Court, Roche was convicted of assault after a trial. The court heard the two men had met in a nightclub eight years ago and developed a close friendship when they began mixing in the same circle of friends.

The incident occurred at 11pm on July 3 last year after Roche was drinking beer at the home of a friend Kerry Dexter and her partner Lesley Amos who are close neighbours and friends of Mr Carr.

Ms Amos, a retired Metropolitan Police officer, said Roche and Mr Carr were like ‘friends with benefits’ and added: ‘Tom went out to have a cigarette and the next thing I heard they were shouting at each other.

‘I went out and said: ‘Please come away Tom’ but Neil tells me to ‘F*** off, I might have known it was you.’

‘Tom heeded my warning and I brought him back into the flat but Neil was angry about something said between them. Neil later apologised to me. Tom came back in and says ‘Why did you do that? We were going to talk.’ I said ‘If you are happy sitting down to talk, OK.’

‘He went back outside, said he was going to talk outside on the terrace and then we heard the police arrive.’ 

Ms Dexter told the court: ‘Neil would say he was in a casual relationship with Tom and he had rung me to tell me he had feelings for him.

‘I advised him that he should express them to Tom but presumably the feelings were not accepted. Tom loved him like a friend – but as far as Tom is concerned, he is not gay. So he is not going to feel like that. However Neil took my advice and Tom was not happy’.

She said she and Ms Amos had been comforting Roche as his mother had suffered a heart attack and added: ‘He was getting upset and went out for a smoke.

‘We put on music that Tom likes, trying to distract him and to stop him worrying about his mum but Lesley said she could hear shouting and saw Tom was outside with Neil at his doorway. Neil had a go at Lesley said: ‘I might have known you would be behind this.’

‘Tom came in and said ‘Me and Neil were going to have a bottle of wine on the veranda so I thought that they were going to have a good talk. He then went back. Next minute police were there.’

The court was played a 999 call Mr Carr made to police and in it he could be heard saying: ‘I’ve just been attacked in my own home. I managed to close the door on him. He knocked on the door and attacked me at the door. He used to be a friend.

‘He knocked on the door wanting to see me then just started punching me. He hit me three times to the head. He’s at the door now. If you send police around you will find him.’

Giving evidence Roche denied having any intimate relationship with Mr Carr but admitted: ‘I do love him like a brother and I would see him two or three times a week and I would go or a cup of tea.

‘That night I went around to Lesley’s flat because I was upset as my mum had had a heart attack. I then heard Neil had been going around saying that he had a sexual relationship with me so I confronted him.

‘I’d had about two or three beers but I was sober. My intention was to go and confront him to make it known that I do not find it very nice that he was going around tarnishing my sexuality, basically making up lies. It is a small village and I do not want things to be told that are not true – I am heterosexual.’

He added: ‘I went to his front door and basically, I told him I was not happy. He then said ‘Hold on a minute’ and went back inside and got a bottle of wine. We were going to go back and have a chat and I just said ‘Pack it in’ but there was an argument with raised voices and the police came.’

Prosecutor Lynne Sayers said: ‘The complainant says something had been going on between them for about three years and it’s not something someone who was gay would make up. Even if he has, why would the defendant remain a friend with someone who was casting such a slur.’

Roche’s lawyer James Edwards said: ‘The friendship with Mr Carr was reasonably longstanding. Whether it was intimate or not there is a background and a reason that he confronted him about it.

‘Clearly, they had some argument about it but it did not, as far as Mr Roche is concerned, turn into violence on his part. Has Mr Carr got him into trouble for receiving a rejection?’

Roche will be sentenced in May.