AFL commentator Kelli Underwood’s open letter to Adelaide Crows’ Izak Rankine over alleged homophobic slur

But, inside, it jarred – like I’d been hit with a bolt of lightning. I was angry. I was confused. I was scared they’d found me out. But most of all I felt shame.

Over the next few days the self loathing began to sink in. I hated myself. I hated myself for not saying anything. I hated myself for being gay. Why me? Why couldn’t it be someone else?

So I hid. I turned up to my shifts and pretended to be someone I’m not. Because the environment didn’t feel safe to me.

I guarantee someone hearing that word today would feel just like I did all those years ago.

It might be a player on the field, a teammate or an opponent. It might be a fan – a young person who’s watching it unfold.

The message is simple – you don’t belong here. And so begins the mental torture.

They would be telling themselves they have no other choice but to hide. Because if Izak uses that word, then what do other players think? They won’t understand. They’ll probably talk about me behind my back – and may even call ME the F word.

It took me quite some time before I was able to establish safe and strong friendships that made me feel comfortable to be my true self. They’ve ended up being lifelong friends.

And netball has since come a long way, not only welcoming but celebrating its first openly gay player Ashleigh Brazill. The sport has become more inclusive. It’s come ahead in leaps and bounds and is all the better for it. They have moved well past the AFL on this issue.

Life moves quickly. Footy moves even quicker. Everyone makes mistakes. And everyone deserves a second chance.

I know you wouldn’t have intended to cause so much harm with one throwaway word in the heat of the moment. But I hope this helps you understand why it can’t be tolerated.

Take care. Surround yourself with good people. And come back strong.

I love the way you play, and can’t wait to see you back out there in the tricolours next year. My nephew and I will be cheering for you.

Regards,
Kelli Underwood