How I look this good at 49 with SEVEN children (including a five-month-old baby): So many women blame their kids for their appearance in midlife but I’m proof you can be a mother and still be stunning. Here’s my routine

There is a particular confidence that comes from being complimented by your teenage children. A few weeks ago my 17-year-old daughter Lettice looked critically at a picture of me with my friends, most of whom are in their 30s and 40s.

‘Mum, you are mogging!’ she said.

‘I’m what?’

‘You know?’ she said impatiently. ‘You’re owning it. You look beautiful compared to everyone else.’

From a teenage girl to her mother, these words were the equivalent of a Nobel Prize. Normally, Lettice and her teenage sisters give me the side-eye and offer ‘suggestions’ on how I look before I go out.

But every now and again I hear something that makes it all worth it. ‘Mummy, she’s older than you, and you don’t look her age.’ And inside I go, ‘Yippee! I’ve obviously done something right.’

It shows that motherhood doesn’t have to mean becoming utterly raddled, wearing baggy clothes and letting yourself go. Even when, like me, you’re a 49-year-old mother of seven, including a five-month old baby.

Yes, you read that right: my husband, Ed, and I have 17-year-old twins, Lettice and Edith, 16-year-old Ottilie, Tattie, 11, Foy, the only boy, who is eight, six-year-old Scout and little Pearl. When my dear colleague Inge van Lotringen wrote in these pages recently that raising children is ageing her female friends, I admit to going on the defensive.

She attributes her own youthful looks to her decision to remain child-free – so, presumably, after seven children, I should look about 90. Admittedly, sometimes this is how I feel. But although my body has, of course, changed, my face hasn’t been too ravaged by my offspring.

On a good day, in the right light, I hope I’d pass for at least early 40s. In fact, I actually think parenting teens keeps you young and more in touch with new trends.

As for Inge’s assertion that mothers can’t afford to spend either the time or the money on beauty treatments… well, that’s not always the case. As a beauty PR, I have access to a huge array of tweakments and skincare. As for being time-poor, that’s a fair point. I only have help in the afternoon.

It’s all about priorities. Appearance has always been important to me. I took my cues from my beautiful grandmother, who always took care of herself and looked years younger.

Since the age of 16, I’ve worn a Lancome SPF – I think this partly accounts for my lack of facial sagging and pigmentation.

In my early 20s, I was representing Neville Hair & Beauty, the A-lister’s favourite hair salon in London’s Belgravia, which meant I had monthly cuts and colour there, which would have cost more than £500 a time.

I had a pedicure at least every month and beauty treatments such as chemical peels and facial massages. Back then, I was glossy and groomed – holding meetings over a glass of fizz. Marriage and motherhood were far from the top of my priority list. I had met Ed, who works in finance, at university, after which we had moved to London together.

I was 29 when I had our twins. I’d already had two miscarriages, so I didn’t take much exercise during pregnancy, which meant I put on weight. But, once the twins were sleeping through, I was back to my normal self.

People seem to think pregnancy turns you into a haggard witch. Not true! I often think I look better when pregnant – my boobs fill out, my hair grows thick and glossy and my skin glows.

Inge wrote: ‘Friends’ looks remained un-affected in their 30s, give or take the first haggard year with each newborn. But in their 40s, ageing seemed to accelerate. Their wrinkles were more evident, their age spots were quicker to develop, while sagging jowls and a loosening neck were upon them.’

I beg to differ.

Like Inge, I have Botox. I don’t know why there’s so much beef about it – it’s bloody marvellous. I started with the ‘11 lines’ between my eyebrows when I was in my mid-30s – by which point I had three children. Throughout my late 30s, I had it once a year. Now, it’s twice a year.

I go to Dr Paris in Marylebone where I have all sorts of treats; Botox around my eyes, forehead and – last time – my neck, to smooth it out (this costs from £350).

I really think that’s made a long-term difference. When all my friends hit their 40s, it was really obvious who didn’t do Botox.

I’d look at some of them and think, ‘You really need to do something about your wrinkles!’ I honestly think lines are far more ageing than children!

I love being pregnant and I love babies. But as someone who cares about how I look, if motherhood really was that ageing, I might not have had so many.

Admittedly, after five-month-old Pearl was born in May, I felt my face lost a bit of volume in my cheeks and around my mouth – but I think that’s down to my age rather than motherhood.

I’ve since had two lots of filler (which costs from £600) in my cheeks and marionette lines. I’ve also had peptides injected around the eyes to rejuvenate and smooth the skin. These are incredible. I had three treatments, costing around £1,500, and they last three to six months.

In the winter, I have laser resurfacing to minimise sun spots, and have also started to have something called Sylfirm X – a microneedling/radiofrequency system (£1,800), approved by the US Food and Drug Administration, that creates a sort of wonderful, smooth glass skin effect.

And I can assure you these treatments are highly effective – mummy or not!

Skincare wise, I like Skin Diligent Exosome Night Cream (£88), Medicube – a Korean brand that’s available at Space NK – and Dr David Jack’s new cleanser, Supernova Antioxidant Cleansing Gel (£23).

Yes, there’s no denying it all adds up; my hair colour – my grey is ghastly – is about £130 every month and then Botox is about £500 a year.

I’m saving for eyelid surgery to get rid of the overhanging skin – that will cost around £4,000 – and surgery to lift and augment my breasts –probably another £5,000.

We recently moved to Mallorca, where treatments are much cheaper – so that helps. Our children go to private international schools but they’re a fifth of the price of independent schools in the UK.

My husband and I both work incredibly hard – we each have our own companies.

I like to think that having seven children changed my life – obviously – but not my attitude. There’s no denying that the number of children you have unquestionably makes a difference to how much they affect your figure.

When I look at my friends, we all sprang back into shape after two. After three or four – and I had my last three in my 40s – you realise that skin only stretches so far.

There are treatments that can help, of course. I’ve had regular EMSculpt (£700 a session) to lift the skin. Now, though, I have a little kangaroo pouch where I once had a flat stomach. But when I’m fully clothed, nobody would know.

Obviously, you can’t have Botox during pregnancy, so I admit that I probably did slightly look my age then. Even my children would comment, ‘Mummy I didn’t know you had lines.’ And I’d say: ‘Yeah, I’ve not had my usual Botox.’ I’m totally honest about it.

Would I mind if the girls wanted to have treatments when they’re older? I assume they will; they have become so normalised and acceptable.

Where I’ve never stinted, pregnant or otherwise, is on my exercise regime. I can’t do without it. I’ve always gone to the gym and done classes, sometimes right up until the day before giving birth. Exercise undoubtedly impacts the look of skin; it increases blood flow to skin, as well stimulating collagen production.

Normally, I return to the gym a couple of months after giving birth. I go to a basic, inexpensive gym, take weight classes, and do yoga and barre. I looked around a very smart health club with saunas and infrared facilities, but realised it wasn’t for me. I prefer to be in the throng of the sweat and noise, working out alongside my teenagers; exercising with the young makes me feel young.

I do five or six classes a week, which costs around £50 a week – or around £2,500 a year.

My love of exercise, and the fact that I run around so much – both after my children and my clients – has probably contributed to my weight staying reasonably stable. I hovered around the 8½st mark in my youth, but am definitely now more like 10st. I’m at the stage where I don’t want to look too thin – a hollow face is very ageing. It’s vanity, yes, but it’s also how I keep my head straight and stay physically strong to cope with my daily marathon.

These days, that means getting up at 7am, dropping the little ones at school – the older ones go by bus. I exercise every day – I’m just starting again – and then work till it’s pick-up time.

I love cooking so I do supper for us all, and fall into bed at 10pm. Pearl comes to bed with me and the little ones are asleep by 9.30pm. Pearl doesn’t yet sleep through the night, but it’s easy to feed her in situ.

When pregnant with Pearl, I treated myself to an Oura fitness tracker. As you can imagine, the stats were interesting. By midday, I’ve done about half my step quota of 9,000 steps, and I average eight hours of broken sleep every night and remain quite fresh until the weekend.

Of course, life is sometimes stressful. I catch sight of the loose skin around my knees and arms when I’m doing downward dog and it makes me sigh in sadness. But this is a body that has carried and grown seven babies, so I love it for that.

Anyway, who can say with any certainty how much of those changes are down to having children, how much are hormones, and how much is simply the passing of time. Let’s face it, everyone ages, regardless of having children.

Fundamentally, I feel happy, and that means I exude youth and health. I have a sunny outlook on life and am positive rather than negative – which helps you look less craggy.

I think the love I have for my children and the joy they give me radiates out. On a good day, they give me a warm glow, and that helps me feel young, no matter how little sleep I’ve had.

I also think work helps me look younger and gives me an identity beyond motherhood too. Pretty much as soon as I give birth I’m back into it, and I think I gravitate towards working women.

So, Inge, I’m afraid you’re wrong to write mothers off. We need to band together and reject the tired, old cliche that mums are exhausted husks of their former selves.

I think it’s important to emphasise that being youthful is as much a state of mind as body, of not becoming mentally old with stale, old-fashioned views. Spending time with my children, being on their level and listening to them, helps me stay young in outlook.

In any case, I’d rather have children than look ten years younger. But I think I’m proof you can do both.

As told to Alice Smellie