How to become the most fanciable person in the room: Experts reveal the 5 simple tricks that will make you more attractive

In a world of anxiety and self-doubt, with dating depending on profiles more than personality, it can be easy to lose confidence and fear the possibility of getting out into the ‘real world’ to find a partner.

As a single woman, going to a party, meeting up with extended friendship gangs, or daring to accept a blind date can induce paralysing fear. What if I embarrass myself? What if everyone else is more desirable than me? How can I just for once be the one that everyone fancies?

While we don’t have a magic animal-magnetism wand to wave, we can follow experts’ advice. With their help, we can decode the subtle psychological triggers and body language cues that cultivate genuine charisma and help anyone get one step closer to being the most fanciable person in any room.

Emily Cleary speaks to experts to find out how to become the most fanciable person in the room.

Georgina Vass is a relationship and sex therapist. She says that being fancied is often less about looks and more about reliably signalling traits like warmth, savvy, and social value through your behaviour and body language.

‘When you walk into a room, instead of thinking, how can I impress everyone? shift your mindset to thinking “How can I show people that I see them, and bring energy and authenticity to these interactions?”’ she says. ‘In a nutshell, impress less and listen more.’

She adds: ‘The majority of your accomplishments or fun facts can often be easily investigated through a ten-second Google search, but the way you make people feel can only be experienced in person.

‘Using names, referring to earlier threads of conversation, making jokes, extending social generosity through introductions, avoiding approval seeking and showing comfort with pauses or differences in opinions are all examples of techniques that may increase your popularity.’

Aside from engagement, Vass says that body language plays a critical role in being fanciable, and not trying too hard! She says: ‘Eye contact, smiling, good posture and openly facing the person you are talking to are all key social tools that communicate confidence and accessibility, helping to build connection with others.

Relationship and sex therapist, Georgina Vass, says being fancied is often less about looks and more to do with personality and social value.

‘Performative attempts to demonstrate compatibility, vulnerability, or authenticity to win over a person or a room are unlikely to lead to long-term satisfaction for anyone. Often the harder you try to make everyone like you, the less enchanting you become.’ Gillian McCallum, CEO of Drawing Down the Moon, has been matchmaking for more than a decade. She says: ‘When it comes to attraction, people often assume there is some secret, unattainable magic at play. In reality, however, making someone fancy you comes down to subtle psychology, and a confident presence.

‘If you want to leave a lasting impression, there are certain tricks you can use to master the art of charm.’

McCallum agrees that interest in others is the first step towards attracting positive attention.

She says: ‘The absolute foundation of charm is showing sincere interest in the person across from you. Ask engaging questions and truly listen to the answers. Nothing is more seductive than making someone feel as if they are the most intriguing person in the room. Curiosity creates intimacy far faster than trying to impress with a scripted monologue.

Gillian McCallum says that showing interest in others is the first step towards attracting positive attention.

Sexologist Becky Crepsley-Fox echoes that curiosity is key. She says: ‘Curiosity is sexy. People are drawn to those who make them feel worth paying attention to. And if eye contact feels comfortable, use it. Holding someone’s gaze with a smile is one of the most captivating things you can do.’

Body language is also key.

‘Confidence is magnetic, and it begins before you even say a word,’ says McCallum. ‘Walk into any room with your head held high, shoulders relaxed, and a warm, genuine smile.

‘Above all, resist the urge to fidget – don’t tweak your clothes, adjust your hair, or rummage in your bag. Fidgeting signals internal anxiety; stillness projects effortless self-assurance and grace.’

Quit fidgeting, body language is key for becoming attractive and fanciable.

Mastering the art of delivering compliments is something McCallum coaches her clients to do. She says: ‘Try to master the counter-intuitive compliment. The key to an unforgettable compliment is delivering the unexpected by seeing what others miss. For instance, if someone is conventionally gorgeous, skip any remark on their appearance – they hear about their looks constantly. Instead, compliment their intellect, sharp insight, or humour. They will cherish being valued for what lies beneath the surface.

‘Flip the script for those who are intelligent. They already know they are brilliant, so compliment their physical charm or style. This unexpected nod to their attractiveness is immensely flattering.

‘If you find yourself faced with someone famous or someone who is very prominent in their field or a public figure, never bring up their work. The moment you start talking about their high-profile job, you relegate yourself to the status of a fan rather than a potential partner. Step away from their professional persona and engage with the person underneath.

‘Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Attraction isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about making the other person feel seen, valued, and captivated in your presence.’

Mastering the art of giving a compliment is an important step to becoming fanciable.

Chantal Gaultier is a relationship therapist who believes it is all about confidence. She says: ‘The so-called law of attraction suggests that we’re often drawn to people who share our values, interests or background. But beyond that initial spark, there are simple ways to project confidence, openness and curiosity, and become more fanciable in the process.

‘How you carry yourself speaks volumes. Standing tall, rather than slouching, projects confidence and openness, qualities that naturally invite connection. Meeting someone’s gaze signals that you’re open to interaction. And showing genuine interest can make you incredibly attractive. Be curious about who someone is, listen to their answers, and show that you actually want to know them.’

Five ways to become the most fanciable person in the room, according to our experts.