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ChatGPT’s savage analysis of my beauty look? ‘I found something that worked in 2012 and never strayed.’ Ouch.
In fairness, I’d asked it to be ‘brutal, like a big sister’, and I agree with its verdict. I know I’ve always played it safe – an attitude my AI friend says has made me ‘nice but not memorable’.
ChatGPT is now millions of people’s go-to for every kind of advice, from baking to mental health (according to the BBC, one in three UK adults use it for emotional support or social interaction). It’s so easy to use, even for IT Luddites like me. You just google ChatGPT and its question box is there, ready and waiting for you. But how would it fare in the beauty sphere? Will it be so good it will make my job redundant?
The photo that Rosie uploaded
First some tactics, which I glean from Scarlett Dargan, YOU’s 27-year-old digital writer. She must be the UK’s primary user and says you have to tell it to be harsh or it will give you people-pleasing platitudes and no valuable insight. She also says there is lots of good advice to be had from the free service but, if you want your pictures edited, as I’ve had done here, you’ll have to pay for one of ChatGPT’s premium versions.
To start, I ask it simple questions, such as which nail polish would suit my colouring? It mostly gets this right but does throw in greige as a suitable shade, which I know (from experience) makes me look like a corpse.
Next I upload my picture (takes seconds) and ask its advice on how I can elevate my look. Its rapid response first focuses on make-up. It suggests I add shimmer to my eyelids (I concur and start experimenting), oomph up my brow definition and go for a stronger lip shade as my mouth needs ‘personality’.
ChatGPT’s advice for evening make-up
I generally agree with the recommendations – your ‘contrast’ fades as you get older (lashes, brows and lips lighten while skin darkens, so you end up looking like a digestive biscuit), but I think it misses some of the nuances. As I’ve got older my face has become heavier in the lower half and I’ve found bold lipstick tends to draw attention to that. Plus, I have redness in my cheeks from rosacea, so any similar colour on my lips gives me ruddy farmer’s-wife vibes and that’s not a look I’m actively seeking.
On to my hair. ChatGPT says I should get a sharper cut, with highlights around the face ‘to add dimension’. Oh, and make it glossier. I take issue with the latter advice. In my picture my hair has had a salon blow-dry plus conditioning treatments and my strands are as shiny as any greying menopausal woman is going to get them.
ChatGPT’s advice for Rosie’s hair
I ask ChatGPT for a trending fringe and I’m so impressed with the generated images that I’m now actively considering it. What ChatGPT doesn’t know is I have a stubborn cow’s lick and a compulsion to put my hair up into a ponytail when eating, working or doing anything that requires concentration, so the practicalities may well not translate to real life.
ChatGPT says I’m an 8/10, but I can make it to 9+ if I push it. Thanks for that. As a beauty editor I already spend much of my life getting tweaked, treated and tweezered, so there’s not much room or time for improvement without moving my bed into a salon.
Finally, I ask ChatGPT about surgery and it says, very clearly, I do not need it but does note some upper- lid heaviness (cheers, I hadn’t noticed that) and a little hollowing under the eyes. Not bad enough for blepharoplasty surgery, it says, but maybe I should consider polynucleotides (I have). It suggests a bit of lip filler, saying ‘0.5 ml MAX!’ (a half-dose that avoids a trout-pout look), which I’ve considered, and then a skin-tightening treatment such as Ultherapy (already had that). Oh, and laser and BroadBand Light (BBL) therapies to even skin tone and boost skin quality (ditto).
ChatGPT’s advice for some non-surgical tweakments
Its parting shot? ‘You are not someone who needs fixing – you’re someone who needs editing. Right now: polished, attractive, slightly safe. With tweaks: expensive, fresh, quietly striking.’ That’s its verdict on me. My verdict on it? Definitely useful but requires a human sense check. And you’ll need robust self-confidence. Am I getting my P45? Thankfully, I’ll live to see another pay cheque.
Under a tenner
John Frieda Frizz Ease Infinite Smooth Treatment (£9.99, boots.com) is free from harsh surfactants and has more biodegradable ingredients. It made my fluffy, wire-wool hair as smooth as silk.
GLOSS IT, GIRL
The perfect lip balm is hands down Nars Afterglow Lip Balm in Triple X (£28.50, spacenk.com). A handbag stalwart for me, this one-swipe product hydrates without feeling sticky and adds a sheeny shot of volume-boosting shine.
Pulses at the ready
Your summer scent, sorted… Glossier You Soie (£70, uk.glossier.com) has the addictive creamy, musky fragrance of the original, but layers it with evening jasmine, bergamot and tiare water to evoke sultry evenings and sun-kissed skin.
3 ways to smell fabulous – all day
Hetan Soni, fragrance expert and owner of Perfume Essence, reveals how to make your scent last longer.
1 Apply it to pulse points Your wrists, neck, behind the ears and inner elbows are naturally warmer, which helps your perfume develop.
2 Always moisturise first Perfume sticks better to hydrated skin.
3 Don’t rub your wrists This breaks down the fragrance molecules and makes it fade faster.
