I kept my £15,000 debt a secret for NINE years until one day it all came spilling out. Here’s how I dug myself out – and four signs your loved one may be in trouble

If you bumped into Olivia Jones on the street when she was in her early 20s, you’d have met a glamorous, high-flying publishing professional with immaculate salon-finish hair and the latest designer clothes. With her colleagues, she was generous to a fault – always getting a round in at the pub or leaving a big tip at restaurants.

But it was all a mirage. Olivia’s affluent image had, in fact, been funded by credit-card debt – and she had dug herself into a £15,000 hole.

What’s more, she hadn’t revealed her growing money problems with anyone at all – not even her parents or partner, Steven.

She was so ashamed of the out-of-control spending and the enormous pile of debt that she buried it at the back of her mind for years, until her finances finally reached a critical point and her secrets came spilling out.

Olivia’s situation is alarmingly common. Almost half of those currently in debt or who have been in the past have hidden it from someone close to them, the Mail can reveal.

Younger generations are far more likely to keep it to themselves – nearly two in three of those aged 18 to 24 admits to this, according to insurer Aviva, which carried out the research.

Two in five debtors are keeping more than £2,500 a secret, while one in five have between £5,000 and £10,000 outstanding.

Research has shown that almost half of people who are in debt or have been in the past have hidden it from someone close to them

Many of those in debt pay off their balances and then begin to recklessly borrow high amounts once more – in a cycle which is known as ‘yo-yo debt’

The average secret balance is £4,000 and, on average, spenders are keeping their debts hidden for almost 18 months – but 15 per cent have kept it under wraps for at least three years.

In Olivia’s case, she didn’t tell anyone for nine years after going into the red.

Her disastrous money habits started during her undergraduate studies at the University of Hull.

The now 43-year-old says: ‘I’d go to the pub and get a round of drinks on a credit card or snap up the newest outfit to go on a night out – I didn’t want to miss out.’

Olivia moved back home to Cambridgeshire after university for around a year and managed to clear her £2,000 credit card and overdraft debt, but soon they spiralled again when she moved to London and started a graduate job in publishing.

Experts say it’s common for those in debt pay off their balances and then begin recklessly borrowing once more. The cycle is often referred to as ‘yo-yo debt’.

Olivia says: ‘I started living beyond my means again. I would pay for a full head of highlights on my credit card and splash out on new shoes.

‘It became too easy to fall back into that old pattern.

‘It felt like there was this dark shroud always niggling in the back of my mind, but it didn’t stop me from spending. I just pretended the debt wasn’t there.’

But she had quickly amassed nearly £10,000 of debt. In a bid to remove the temptation to spend, she moved back in with her parents and commuted into the city before moving to Yorkshire with her new partner, Steven. She says: ‘I hoped in some strange way that the remaining debt would go away.’

But one day, aged 27 and just six months into her new life in the North East, a letter dropped on Olivia’s doormat.

In the frenzy of moving to a new place she hadn’t been making the minimum payments every month on her credit card, and letters from her lender went unread as they were delivered to her old address. She says: ‘The card had defaulted on to very high interest, and because payments hadn’t been made, extra charges applied.’

The secrecy that comes with hiding debt from loved ones is also known as ‘financial infidelity’ (picture posed by models)

Olivia’s debt had grown to about £15,000 – far more than the £8,000 she believed she had borrowed.

Aviva says of those who are keeping debt a secret, some 55 per cent are behind on repayments and 11 per cent are not paying anything towards the outstanding amount each month.

‘I was really scared,’ says Olivia. ‘I didn’t know how I would get myself out of it.

‘My parents didn’t know – I didn’t want them to worry. I didn’t tell my partner, either. We were just starting out and I had only recently moved into his house. I kept thinking, “How could you be so stupid?” I wanted to hide that shame.’

This secrecy is also known as ‘financial infidelity’. It includes opening clandestine bank accounts or credit cards, hiding growing debt from a partner and making purchases without them knowing.

Olivia confessed to her parents a month after that fateful letter arrived. She says: ‘I couldn’t hide it any more so I called my mother. Amazingly, they swooped in and said they would sort it.

‘They kindly said I could pay back half of that £15,000. They wanted me to redirect my money to saving for furniture, instead.’

It was only after her parents agreed to help that she told her partner. ‘He was really surprised. He was very supportive. But there was probably part of him thinking, “Is there anything else?”

‘It did shake our foundations, but we’re still together.’

Olivia says keeping debt a secret will only get worse if you don’t share it with your loved ones.

She managed to pay her parents back gradually over time but the nasty experience has put her off ever using a credit card again.

The four signs YOUR loved one is hiding debt

Hiding their mail

Does your partner sprint to the front door every morning to grab the letters that have fallen on to the doormat?

This may be a sign they have ballooning balances and creditors are hounding them for payments.

Those in financial trouble may rush to hide final demand letters from credit card companies, or to remove post they have been sent from loan companies.

You may also find you’re not receiving your joint bank account statements in the post as usual. Your partner’s excessive spending may have dragged your joint account into the red – and they could be hiding physical statements so you don’t find out.

If you suspect this is the case, you can log into your online bank account to check your digital statement or call your bank to ask if your physical statements have been sent out as normal.

Lashing out if you talk about money

Perhaps your grown-up children quickly change the subject when you bring up money, or your sibling gets angry when you question them about their spending.

They may simply be uncomfortable sharing information about their finances with you – or they could be hiding an out-of-control spending habit.

The key is to look for a change in behaviour. If they are usually happy to tell you about their monthly budget but they are unusually flustered when you ask, this could be a sign of growing debt troubles.

Spending sprees beyond their means

Everyone likes to treat themselves occasionally. Perhaps you and your loved one enjoy a mini break or a shopping trip every once in a while.

But the odd treat can easily morph into an out-of-control spending habit that your loved one borrows funds to maintain.

Your partner could return from a day out with piles of designer shopping bags, for example, or they may book a luxurious holiday to the Caribbean that you know they can’t afford.

If their extravagant spending habits don’t match their income – or their savings – then they could be getting into debt to maintain their lifestyle.

But beware, your loved one may be secretive about their sending habits. They may not tell you that they have spent hundreds of pounds on a new bag or watch – and they could even sneak it into the house.

Keep an eye out around your home for new, expensive items if you suspect they are splurging on more than they can afford.

Being secretive with their mobile phone or laptop

Has your loved one started putting their mobile phone down or shutting their laptop screen when you sit next to them?

They may just be a private person. But if your partner is usually carefree with their mobile phone then this change in behaviour should raise a red flag.

There may be an innocent reason for it – a birthday present they don’t want you to know about, for example. Or it may be a sign of a different secret, perhaps infidelity or an online gambling addiction. But there’s a chance they could be hiding emails detailing loan applications or their banking app that shows a rising overdraft, for example.