I’ve discovered my fiancé’s secret double life after he abandoned me at the altar. A sickening photo exposed the truth: DEAR JANE

Dear Jane,

Just a few months ago, I was the happiest I had ever been.

I was engaged to be married to the love of my life in the wedding ceremony of my dreams. Then, my worst nightmare came true.

My fiancé left me at the altar in front of all of our friends and both of our families. He blocked my number, and I haven’t heard from him since.

I was devastated and completely blindsided. I spent weeks trying to reach him via his family, who refused to speak to me, and my attempts to find him online all hit dead ends. He had seemingly vanished.

That is, until a mutual friend posted a photo of him on social media. It was from his wedding to another woman. And, as it turned out, she was pregnant.

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Had he been living a double life this whole time?

From photos online, it seemed like they had started seeing each other while we were engaged.

While I was angry at him, I felt heartbroken for her. I doubt she knows the truth – and she should.

While I don’t love the idea of meddling in their business, I also don’t think I can sit idly by. Should I tell her what he did to me?

Sincerely,

The Other Woman

Dear Other Woman,

I am so sorry that you have been through such an enormous betrayal. 

Ghosting is brutal and cowardly, and to do so on a wedding day speaks to a profound lack of character. As devastated as you are, be thankful that you are not the one who is now married to a man capable of behaving like this.

When someone has abused our trust and mistreated us, we want everyone to know. Of course I understand why you would want this other woman to know, and your instinct to protect her comes from a good place.

But stepping into their marriage will not bring you any peace whatsoever, and telling her will only keep him active in your life. It will invite yet more drama and chaos at a time when you need stability.

Rather than worry about where he is now and how he might be hurting someone else, I would expend your energy on your own healing. 

You know the truth about who he is, and as much as it hurts to have someone you thought you loved leave you, he has done you a huge favor. 

The fact that he was two-timing you during your engagement speaks to an utter lack of integrity. No part of you should waste time missing this man.

As to the other woman, she will unfortunately have to walk her own path. We don’t know if he will be different with her, but leopards rarely change their spots. 

Focus on being grateful that you were the one who got away, and move on from any drama. They have their own journey, just as you have yours.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… 

Dear Jane,

I think my roommate has been secretly stealing my expensive beauty products.

For the past year, I’ve lived with three other women in an apartment with a shared bathroom. We’ve become very close and share just about everything, from coffee creamer to clothes – but we always ask for permission first.

The other day, I went into our bathroom to wash my face and to my horror the cleanser was totally different. It had lost its scent and consistency, and instead looked like water. 

When I went to wash my hair in the shower, I discovered my shampoo and conditioner had also suffered the same fate.

Upon further inspection, it seemed that someone had used the product then, in fact, replaced it with water.

I was livid – these products aren’t cheap, and while I could understand using them in a pinch, I cannot fathom filling the bottles with water instead of replacing them.

And when I told one of my roommates what had happened, she simply said: ‘Then you shouldn’t buy expensive things.’

In my mind, that was an immediate tell that she was the one stealing from me. After all, I rarely see her buy her own beauty products.

Now, I’m at a loss on what to do. I feel like she should pay for replacements, but if she never fesses up, then I don’t know how to hold her accountable. 

I also don’t want to start a fight, considering I have to live with her.

Sincerely,

Shampoo Stealer

Dear Shampoo Stealer,

It seems clear that one of the roommates is indeed watering down your expensive stuff, but I’m not sure it’s clear that it’s the one who said you shouldn’t buy expensive things.

You don’t have any proof, nor would it be particularly helpful to call her out, unless of course you want to blow up the whole arrangement.

I had something similar happen this summer. A friend who had come to stay brought me her favorite shower wash, which is expensive and luxurious. 

When I came home after being away for some time, the bottle was practically empty. The only person who had been in the house had been my housekeeper, who point-blank denied ever using it, leaving the cats as the only alternative culprit. Seems unlikely. 

With shower products, what’s yours is yours, and it’s appalling to help yourself to them, and worse to top it up with water in a bid to hide behavior you know is wrong.

But in your case, it seems there is a simple solution going forward without having to accuse anyone or start a fight with roommates.

Buy a shower caddy and take your own products with you when you shower and wash your face, and back into your bedroom when you’re finished. You can also buy a small make-up case with a lock and key instead. 

Either way, keep the things you love, the things that are important to you, in your own private space.